Our church took it’s annual parish picture outside in front of the large wooden doors. I don’t know how many people we squeezed into it, but I can’t wait to see it.

On the way to church, I exited the freeway too soon, as if I was going to work, and so I thought I was going to be too late. When I walked up, however, they were still positioning people, so I squeezed into the fringes.

Then the photographer noticed five chairs in the middle of the group and some guy motioned me in that general direction, so not only did I make the parish picture, I am smack dab in the middle of the thing. lol

All around me I heard all sorts of interesting conversation.

“Is he taking the pictures now?”
“I don’t know.”
“Every time the flash goes off, (insert name), he’s taking a picture.”

It was too funny.

It was an exciting week in the life of our church. We finally know who our rector is going to be after the departure of Dr. Gipson. Apparently, the new rector comes highly recommended, so I am looking forward to the transition (though I will miss Dr. Gipson!).

Of course, today was Mother’s Day and that day still feels a little weird. My mother has been gone four years now, but that’s not why. It’s always weird because they always seem to preach about how wonderful mothers are, how nurturing and loving they are, how their guidance and wisdom is supposed to be the foundation of our lives (in which case, I’m hosed), and then they give them flowers or some token.

Well, they handed out flowers, but I didn’t have to endure reminders of what I missed out on. The sermon was about something maternal, but it wasn’t a parade of clever remarks about moms. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there have to be things my mother did right, but I am haunted by the notion that my maternal foundation is extremely flimsy. A counselor once told me I was seriously lacking in nurturing skills and I see evidence of it still, after many years of trying to make up for it.

Maybe I should get a pet and practice nurturing. Is that how it works? Start with something that doesn’t involve eternal punishment if you screw it up? I’ve had a plant that started from a leaf someone gave me about four years ago that hasn’t died, maybe I should move on to something that breathes?

Just thinking out loud.

If you had a wonderful mother and have a good foundation, then I hope you had a wonderful day and celebrated your mother, or were celebrated yourself. If you have a flimsy foundation, as I do, then pray and work with me and seek to find the skills to lay a good foundation for the future generation. Keep telling yourself, as I do, that it’s never too late to change the future, no matter what happened in the past.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Karie says:

    i think you’re doing a pretty good job at nurturing…at least on my part! just bc you didnt give birth to me doesn’t mean you aren’t my mother. you are my mother in every sense of the word!

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