Someone shared this with me and I’m passing it on because it hit me where I am right now…
Amy put a new twist on part of 1 Corinthians 13.
Fear is impatient, fear is unkind. It envies, it boasts, it’s proud. Fear is rude, it is self-seeking, it is easily angered, it keeps a record of wrongs. Fear delights in evil and rejoices with lies. Fear never protects, never trusts, never hopes, never perseveres. Fear always fails.
Fear is something I’ve struggled with my entire life. God keeps challenging my fears and challenges me to trust in Him and walk in the way He’s set before me.
Therefore, it comes as no surprise that during Lent, during the time I’ve challenged myself to go barefoot puddle jumping that the puddle keeps getting bigger and the shoes keep falling.
At the end of May, I either need to move or stay in my apartment by myself. My roomie feels the call of God to take a leap of faith and go in a new and bold direction in her life. While I am thrilled for my friend that she is obedient and joyfully following God, I couldn’t help but feel that another shoe hit me in the head.
Financially, either way (moving or staying), I am back to how I lived before I got my new job. Not many extras (like movies and eating out). No vacation this year, and quite possibly my big plans for a trip for my 40th birthday just flew by. I will not be car shopping any time soon and I hope Wynne Dory has more life left in her than I originally estimated.
Despite my feeling that this current shoe is a size 15, I know this is a God thing. I know God is in control. I won’t be homeless, I won’t be hungry, I will have everything I need. (That new job came just in time – how many times in my life has God done that?) I actually saw this coming, but I honestly thought I had another year. Shae plans, God laughs. I need to laugh more.
I do see God’s hand in all of this… and unless a deal I can’t refuse lands in my lap in the next two months, I will be staying in this apartment (which is actually a cheaper option than a lot of places I’ve looked at) at least until December.
I believe I need some time living alone, just God and me, wherever I land. I will lean in and splash in the puddle some more and rejoice… because though fear will fail me, Love never fails.