Early this morning (or late last night, depending on your point of view and whether or not you slept longer than I did, which you probably did), I was talking to my little brother (my transparent onion) about strength. Or rather, he was talking… I was definitely listening… and it was definitely early or late…
All week long, people have been telling me how strong they think I am because of how I am facing the consequences of what God has required of me this Lent. And yes, I do feel much stronger and more able to withstand what’s being thrown at me right now. In that sense, I am stronger than I think I am. I take all those compliments very seriously and welcome any positive reinforcement of how I handle things. So, thank you.
Earlier this week, MTO (my transparent onion) was encouraging me to lean into God and use him as my source of strength. After he noticed a couple of people told me I was strong again this week, MTO wanted to remind me of our earlier conversation. Believe me, with the sleep I haven’t had this week, I am probably getting this all out of order and may have missed something, so I will get straight to his point, a point I knew, but little brother’s just trying to make sure I don’t forget and get frustrated if I don’t find my is strength enough… and it never really is.
Then he reminded me of a song we sing often in church by Jon Foreman called, “Your Love is Strong.”
Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me
Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong
I need to let God be my strength and make me stronger, and just like the song says, God’s love is strong… And trust me MTO, I heard it all, and you tied it all nicely together, and even though my brain can’t recreate it, trust me, my heart got it.
Thank you so much for walking through all this with me… and again, I reiterate that God’s timing is ten kinds of ridiculous for putting some incredible, unique and diverse people in my life when I really need God with skin on.
I went to bed around 4:20 AM, woke up at 9 to take some allergy meds and went back to sleep. Then the other little brother (your new initials are forthcoming) called me at 10:38 and I’m glad he did. I would probably still be asleep and completely unprepared to lose an hour of sleep tonight…