RESUME’ BLUES

My fingertips are all black and smudgy from perusing the newspaper, but so far, it’s pretty slim pickins… Most of the “receptionists” nowadays double as accounts payable clerks, janitors and bookkeepers. Times are so tight that employers want one person for two jobs and less pay, which I understand, but it just makes things tougher for me. I turned to the internet job search and am finding the same thing. I may just have to go work at Target and learn to scan things. (I am comic relief at the grocery store in the U-Scan Line. Imagine me repeating my mantra, “U-Scan? Sure can!” and then have the computer mock me by saying, “Please scan again.”) At least at Target I won’t have to do bookkeeping and the cash register calculates your change (although I’m really good at that for some reason). And…I can still encounter the same calibur of weirdos as I do on the phone at the church, only this time live and in person! (I may have to post some of those stories…) Target is sounding more appealing all the time.

Ah, the resume’… Another job search tool that I have not had to utilize in 17 years of job searching. Jene’ is going to help me tweak my resume’ so what I do sounds important, vital, and interesting even though it’s usually boring, mundane and I could do it all in my sleep. I will list my skills, and I have many, but I will not include, “can balance broomstick on ample Bavarian nose,” or “can name every war correspondent on Fox News.” Jene’ also says it’s never too late to develop people skills – because someday I’ll be a mother of teenagers and the ability to persuade stubborn people to do my bidding will come in handy whether or not I ever get another job.

So… I am going to work on the resume’ so Jene’ can tweak it tonight. It’s a cold (62), windy day in Houston, so it’s a good day to stay indoors and accomplish lots of stuff. I’m also still sick and congested, and my equilibrium is shot, so it’s probably a good thing that I am sitting down and not walking around outside and wobbling — people might think I’m drunk. I’ll take my cola out of the bag when I go outside. That should help that rumor… ha ha…

Resume’ calls… I will keep you posted as I re-navigate “semi-unemployment.”

Definition: semi-unemployment – the state of having only enough hours to keep a person from being classified, “unemployed,” yet not having enough money to pay even the tiniest of bills. Semi-unemployment gives the worker enough confidence that perhaps she isn’t totally unemployable and gets her out of the house enough to avoid severe depression over state of employment-ness.

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