sassysheisme

Activism, badassery, commentary, fearless, flowers

I am NOT less than.

Posted on October 9, 2022 by sassysheisme

In 2022, women are still “less than.”

We still don’t get equal pay for equal work.

We no longer have bodily autonomy.

We are dangerously close to no longer having religious freedom – one has decided it’s their way or else (they’re a minority) and they are trying legislate it down everyone’s throats.

We are marginalized, suppressed and fed the lie that we are not whole as single entities.

We are not put on this earth to supply a “domestic supply of infants” as long as there are THOUSANDS of foster children in Texas alone.

What’s it going to take, women? What’s it going to take men/women/other that love women? Vote like your life, livelihood and future depends on it, because it does.

Rant over. Will close the comments in a heartbeat if someone decides to challenge me on my own Facebook page. I am tired of all of it. ALL OF IT.

Rant over…for the second time.

community, COVID, health, Pandemic Social Distancing

Spent

Posted on October 2, 2022 by sassysheisme

While the rest of the abled/healthy world forges on to recapture “normal,” people like me are trying to accept we’ll never have normal again. As long as COVID flows and mutates along unchecked, I’ve found myself limited in many ways I didn’t have to face before.

I’m exhausted. Spent. Sick of trying to navigate the world as an immunosuppressed person while nearly everyone else around me moves on. Goes to restaurants. Movies. Concerts. Attends major events. Wonders why I decline invites and don’t attend.

Years from now, when we have long COVID statistics that so many who are currently running around uninhibited may likely be dealing with, we will also have data on the mental toll that COVID has taken on those of us who have had to hunker down and live in virtual isolation because of a mishandled pandemic and the rush of most of those we know to put something, that will be ongoing for a long while, behind them.

If anyone thinks I don’t want to go eat IN a restaurant or sit at the bar with friends and watch the game, you’re wrong. See a major movie in a theater? I’d love to. Travel without a mask? Yep. Go to a concert and not worry that I’m going to test positive in a few days? Absolutely. If anyone thinks I like curbside pickup or delivery all the time instead of going into a store…. okay, you would be right about that one.

I’ve done everything I can do personally to move forward, but I’m limited, and that’s extremely difficult for me. As I sit and listen to so many I know talk about symptoms of long COVID (while many refuse to label it so), I wonder why they don’t realize why I don’t want it. I don’t even want to chance it if I can avoid it. And I do want to avoid long COVID.

Someone I know who saw me out with my mask on told me that I was the smart one. Meanwhile, he did not have a mask on, nor did anyone in the area crowd around me (and more than one had had COVID recently). I wondered why, if I was the smart one, he wouldn’t wear a mask, too. I’m sure there are many reasons, but I’m not sure I would understand most of them.

I, like so many other vulnerable people, want to rejoin the world with you, but we can’t without a little help and compassion. For now, I will create my own world and boundaries, and if you can’t keep them, please understand my distance.

Activism, LGBT, politics

Independence

Posted on July 4, 2022 by sassysheisme

I’ve been thinking a lot about independence lately. I’ve always thought of myself as independent, though I also realize I’ve only hit that target in recent years. Independence has taken on new meaning for me in the last week or so, given the Supreme Court seems hellbent on limiting independence or taking it away entirely.

I’m actually kind of maudlin today. I don’t feel like celebrating independence when I feel it’s at the very least being infringed upon, and at the most, being removed for those except a minority who believe one certain way.

I never thought of myself as “liberal.” Now I can’t picture myself as anything but. Liberal means for everyone. Liberal means justice. Liberal means inclusive. Liberal means peace.

I can’t picture myself going back to the side that believes it’s okay to legislate morality and tells me I’m going to hell and am less than. I don’t know why anyone would expect me to either. I don’t understand voting against my own interests or against the interests of the marginalized. I belong to a few marginalized groups.

If you are not a straight, white, fundamentalist male, you are being targeted. Don’t be surprised when they come for your autonomy, too, though you believe you are on the “safe” side.

This is how democracy dies. Can we pull it back from the brink?

about shae, badassery, friends, Uncategorized

How Friends Say, “I Love You”

Posted on February 5, 2022 by sassysheisme

This is how your friends say, “I love you.”

– Did you eat today?

– Did you drink anything today? No, not coffee, I meant water.

– How did you sleep?

– Can I help?

– It’s ok to scream in my ear…go.

– Play “Eye of the Tiger” and call me back

– When was the last time you went outside?

– Take a walk

– It’s ok to stop for the day

– I miss your face

You are told every day you are loved, but it isn’t always “I love you.”

And in case you forgot:

You are strong.

You are loved.

You are enough.

COVID, holidays, Pandemic Social Distancing, Work From Home

NYE 2021, or, I Can’t Believe We’re Still in This Mess

Posted on December 31, 2021 by sassysheisme

Today is Pandemic Social Distancing Day 655 or so. It’s hard to gauge these days. I just spent a staycation of nearly two weeks at home, not doing much because, COVID.

I did manage to fit in a real vacation to California in November in between COVID waves. I was super careful, wore my mask dutifully, and had received my third full Moderna vaccine (and the flu vaccine) before I went.

I felt safer in California. Everyone wears masks. To get into an event, you have to present your vaccine card and ID and wear a mask 100% of the time inside. Nobody fights it. People do what they need to do to protect themselves and their neighbors. I still don’t understand why this basic thing is so difficult for some, especially since it’s the main reason we are still in the midst of this pandemic and it’s the worst it’s ever been.

I try to stay positive. I get outdoors, I talk to people, I work. I routinely allow myself self care – everything from splurging on nice wine or buying facial products to pamper myself. I do what I have to do, but I’ll admit, it’s difficult sometimes.

Last year, I felt like we’d be closer to “normal” at this point than we are. We are so far away from it and so many don’t want to admit it, but it’s true.

As I close in on my 53rd birthday, I try not to get angry or mourn what I’ve lost the last couple of years. This is no way to live for a person like me. I need to travel. See people I love. Meet new people. Experience. Feel.

Whatever 2022 brings, I’ve decided one important thing – whatever normal was, I don’t want it back. I want a new normal that doesn’t include a pandemic. I know I need to live differently, try a different path, do whatever it takes to feed my soul. I’m closer, thanks to this pandemic, to figuring that out, because I’ve done without my normal long enough to know I don’t want it back – not completely.

For me, 2022 will be me bringing about my new normal regardless of what is happening around me, and as always, moving forward no matter how tiny the steps are.

May this new year bring you peace and hope.

CANCER, community, COVID, Grief, Pandemic Social Distancing, relationships

Impromptu Immunocompromised Support Group

Posted on October 15, 2021October 15, 2021 by sassysheisme

I had my oncologist checkup today. The doctor was running way behind. I was in the waiting room for nearly an hour, I didn’t mind. I started a Covidiot Support Group while I waited.

There were three of us waiting. All of us got to talking about dealing with the unmasked and unvaccinated and the choices we have to make with people, especially those close to us.

One has had to tell family to stay away for about a year now. They are angry with her because they can’t come visit her toddlers or their son, but they flat out refuse to get vaccinated or wear masks. This lady is undergoing chemo and literally has a chemo port sticking out of her chest. She is immunocompromised and is taking care of herself. Instead of understanding, the family tells her she’s selfish for keeping the family apart, making her the bad guy and telling all who will listen how selfish she is. Projection is a mofo.

Two has had similar issues because she’s also immunocompromised and she has an 11 year old in school (who, if it’s not already available to him, will get a Covid shot for his 12th birthday). She has relatives who don’t care if she’s compromised, they want to see the kid who can transmit it to her easily. I don’t envy that tight rope. She’s had to be the selfish bad guy, too.

Two’s kid attends HISD, which defied a gubernatorial mandate to not mandate that which has been scientifically proven to reduce cases – masks. Because of masks, HISD kids are less at risk. HISD has roughly 197,000 students and 27,000 employees. As of today, community control has been achieved with less than 200 cases in HISD per day. Masks. Work.

Me? I’ve had to draw some boundaries with people, and damn, is it difficult. I am immunocompromised. I have to keep these boundaries in place. There are unvaccinated people all around me. If you want to see me, you wear a mask, we go outside, and you have to be vaccinated. Period. Dot. It flabbergasts me how people can take my desire to be healthy personally, but they do.

I am not selfish, I’m practicing self-care. I am diligent. I am doing whatever it takes to stay healthy so I can live my life to the fullest. I am not the bad guy. How can I be the bad guy when all I’ve done is draw a line that requires someone to do something free (that will protect them also) or wear a piece of cloth on their face so they don’t potentially make me ill? I had some unvaccinated people socially distance visit and wear masks. They obeyed those boundaries (this was before Delta). They worked with me. I love them for that. I’ve had to get stricter as the virus gets worse.

Interestingly enough, when I was going through cancer treatment and had to be extra careful then, some had no issues doing whatever it took so they could come see me and love on me. I did the same for my brother when he had leukemia. I had to wash my hands to my elbows, wear gloves and I wore the mask and I did it with all the love in my heart so I could be with him.

The difference now? I can’t wrap my brain around it, because I think it will hurt more than I want it to. There are some people, however, who love in words and not in action. And right now, I need the action. One, Two and I need that action, intent and sacrifice, and trust me, we rarely, if ever, ask for it.

Now we’re asking for it and we will continue to do so because in our cases, it’s not about them. It is about us. Our health and well being, which includes our mental health.

One and Two were pretty pumped up when I went back to the doctor’s office. So was I. It’s been a long haul. I’ve lost people to Covid, and I still can’t believe they’re gone. No funerals. No memorials. We’ve all been through a lot and there is a clear path to victory but only the selfish bad guys seem to want to get there (which includes those who are vaxxed to protect themselves and others).

I get it, some can’t be vaxxed, and they need the same boundaries I do because of it. I feel for them. I’m sure some treat them like selfish bad guys. To those choosing not to be vaxxed, these are the boundaries we have to have to stay healthy. Please don’t take it personally. We love you, we really do. We’d like to stay healthy so we can come see you again one day. Hopefully sooner than later.

I am so grateful for those who are doing whatever it takes for me to have a safe trip for me to see my Bestie and my family next month, and who do whatever it takes to hang out every now and then. I am worth a piece of cloth over their mouth and nose. Why is that so hard to say? Why do I have to say it?

One day, this pandemic will be in the rearview mirror but the boundaries for some may not be. I will continue to stay healthy, including my mental health. I will continue to evolve. I’ve learned so much during this pandemic. Upward and onward.

community, COVID, politics

I Celebrate, Even by Myself

Posted on August 21, 2021August 21, 2021 by sassysheisme

Today is pandemic social distancing day 526. COVID-19 is just as bad here as it was last winter, a viral fire fueled by misinformation and a variant tearing through the unvaccinated population that has chosen freedom without responsibility.

One day, those that spread misinformation and mistrust to further their own political aspirations will be held accountable one way or the other. I believe that. One day, we’ll peel back the layers and discover what made a portion of our population vulnerable to that misinformation. There are many theories, and I believe many causes. As a nation, we have much to examine and repair. Moreover, we have a great deal of healing to do.

A couple of months ago, I bought a very nice bottle of wine. Barrel aged for two years, smooth, delicious. I was saving it for a special occasion, but by the time I truly will get to share it with anyone, it will likely go bad.

Therefore, tonight I opened my aged, fine wine. I am celebrating being vaccinated, socially distanced, and safe. I know I have chosen the right path for myself and for others. I will continue the same course of action until it’s safe to open another bottle, another time, with others.

breast cancer

10 Years of Survival, Sassy Style

Posted on May 10, 2021 by sassysheisme

Ten years ago, I had my lumpectomy surgery, removing the cancer in my breast. Today is the day I celebrate being 10 years cancer free. The time has flown by and my life has changed so much. I’ve changed so much.

This post from 2014 shows part of the journey. There’s still so far to go.

I am grateful for the last ten years. Despite COVID and other issues, I’m living my best life. Age has given me knowledge and perspective that I’m so grateful for.

I am not full of words tonight, just gratitude. Count your blessings tonight. If you need one, throw mine in.