REST

Grateful for times of rest. I depend on them more than people know. Having an “invisible” chronic illness isn’t easy, especially when I still want to go at life full speed. I am ever convinced that no matter how much I explain how I feel/what I am going through, there will be those who see…

S. A. D. AND TAMOXIFEN WITHDRAWAL

I am not a big fan of the fall time change.  To be honest, I’m not a fan of time change for daylight “savings” at all. I grew up in Indiana, where until recently, Daylight Savings Time did not exist. Until I moved to Houston, I had no idea how to change the time on…

LIFE POST-TAMOXIFEN, 2 MONTHS

Today marks the end of my second month of freedom from Tamoxifen.  I can honestly say that stopping the consumption of such a life-altering drug has been one of the best choices I’ve made in a long time.  I appreciate most having my brain back and having a boost in energy. This week I have…

LIFE SUPPORT

I did something Friday I thought I would never do – I joined a gym.  I had been thinking about it for awhile, but didn’t think I could afford to do that. In fact, I really can’t afford to do that right now, but I can’t afford not to, either. The money part will work…

TWO THINGS I’M WONDERING ABOUT POST-SURGERY

I had these thoughts today about life post-surgery: 1. What if my nose doesn’t lose any weight but the rest of my face does? 2. What if I lose weight in my feet? Will I get shorter? Will my shoes still fit? These things may not be important to you, but as someone who has…

ONE OF THOSE DAYS (I want my life back)

I had a low grade fever most of the day, and though I wanted to be home in bed, since I have dismally few sick days I pushed myself to go work. I had wanted to go out tonight and be with friends, but the fever didn’t leave. I cried all the way home. I…

THE DEPTH OF A TATTOO NEEDLE

I finally decided to get my second tattoo.  Since I had breast cancer last year, I knew this tattoo would be an Ebeneezer from that journey. I wanted it to be visible this time (my first one is on my back) so it would be a constant reminder to be strong, courageous and grateful. I…

A NEW YEAR POST CANCER: THE ART OF SPOON MANAGEMENT

I went to see my beautician last week, the wonderful Nora who has cut and colored my hair for almost 10 years.  I asked her to do something that absolutely irritated her.  I asked her to cut my hair very, very short. At first, she didn’t understand why a “bob” cut wasn’t going to be…

IS THAT STEAM FROM A BIG TRAIN OR JUST BRAIN FOG?

Yesterday one of my friends compared Tamoxifen to Liquid Drano running through the body. That’s a great way to put it. This week was overwhelming in terms of emotional and physical stress.  I won’t go into all the details, but there have been people lost to people I care about, year-end work stress, personal stress,…

WHEN SUPERWOMAN LOSES HER CAPE

It’s been a little over three months since my treatments ended, and almost three months since I’ve been on Tamoxifen.  It’s been a roller coaster ride for sure. I have a love/hate relationship with Tamoxifen.  I love that it has the potential to keep breast cancer from ever coming back, but I hate how I…

NORMAL IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

I took a giant leap forward in my journey to return to “normal” this week:  I put on a bra. Yes, for the first time in 2 1/2 months, I was able to expand my wardrobe past the five large, baggy shirts I’ve been confined to wear to conceal my braless status.  If you’re a…