Posted in commentary


I’ve had time to think and re-think and I still think I did the right thing by standing up for myself. I’ve also had time to think about all the times I didn’t say no and why it’s still so difficult for some to use that word. After all, “no,” is one of two options, the other being, “yes.” “No” is always there, waiting to do it’s job. I’m not saying that a time to say, “yes,” is wrong or doesn’t exist. I just believe, “no,” isn’t used enough.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve spent years not saying, “no.” I’ve spent years saying, “yes,” when I should have been saying, “no,” because I can’t stand conflict. I used to sacrifice my own feelings, self respect, my own rights as a human being because I couldn’t say, “no.”

Over the years, as I’ve dug deep and found my voice, it’s still tough to say, “no,” but I’ve been able to more often and let me tell you, it feels better than being a doormat. Not saying, “no,” when it needs to be said and you wake up with the words, “welcome,” on your back. I think most of the word has been erased off my back, but I think there’s still a W and part of an E still visible. I’m not always able to say, “no,” even now, but I have more discernment, too, and sometimes, it’s best not to say anything. Ah, the third option.

The trouble with, “no,” is that so many people are used to hearing, “yes,” they get angry and take it personally when they don’t get what they want. I still don’t know what I will face tomorrow. Probably nothing, just silence. Still, I have no regrets with my choice of words.

Now that I think about it, I used to say, “no,” all the time, just inside my head… where I was screaming it, but nobody heard me. In fact, I used to stand in the middle of crowded rooms screaming at the top of my lungs and nobody heard me. Nobody was listening. Oddly enough, some people don’t hear the word, “no,” even when you’re brave enough to speak it out loud… calmly, respectfully. All they hear is, “I’m not getting my way.”

Jene’ said that as long as I am being obedient, I am not responsible for how my actions or choice of words is taken. I am not responsible for the reaction. No matter what the outcome, I did what was right. No matter how high on the Black Sheep list this puts me, I did what was right. No matter how people talk about me behind my back, I still did something that I should have done a long time ago — stand up for myself.

Unfortunately, sometimes you do the right thing and you end up homeless (ha ha). Donations can be made at…


I seek to live, breathe & work creatively. Late bloomer. I survived breast cancer and so much more. I will meet each challenge w/determination, badassery & sass!

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