GOODBYE KATANA BLUE

Before you get misty-eyed, I should tell you that Katana Blue was my cell phone… up until last Tuesday night anyway. Katana Blue and I had been friends since I purchased her just before my great vacation last June. She was a great phone, and will be missed greatly.

Katana Blue was a victim of my many recent sleepless nights. When I don’t get enough sleep, I start to lose what little coordination and sense I have. When I get to the point of exhaustion, especially brain exhaustion…accidents… clumsy moments happen.

I am a compulsive pre-laundry pocket checker. My mother used to raise cane if we left so much as a tissue in our pockets, which fascinated me because by the time the clothes were dry, the issue had been solved. Still, to this day, my pockets are almost always empty (my roommate washes money frequently but still claims not to be a “money launderer”). Combine my tiredness with my new cargo pants with the nifty cellphone-sized leg pocket and the recipe for disaster was complete.

I was exhausted when I came home from work Tuesday and I started my laundry. I usually have the cell phone next to my computer on the kitchen table while I cook. I didn’t even realize my phone had gone missing until the washer came to a stop. I opened the washing machine and saw a red light glowing up at me and knew instantly my phone was fubar.

I told Jene’ I was in trouble and she turned from the stove and asked me why so I held up the dripping Katana Blue with the glowing red light mocking me. I threw my clothes in the dryer and drove straight to the Sprint store and ordered my replacement phone. Thank goodness I hadn’t cancelled the insurance on the phone, otherwise Katana Blue’s demise would certainly have been more costly.

Later that night Jene’ stood in my doorway and said, “this is so unlike you because you are always aware of where your phone is.” She’s right. In 8 years as a cell phone owner, I have never lost a phone, and I can count on one hand the times I’ve even dropped one.

Yes, I almost always know where my phone is, but I’m more aware I haven’t had enough sleep lately.

Two days before Katana Blue was laundered to death, I was at the Sprint store securing a way to have internet service after Jene’ moves out. The young man who waited on me had told me he had several stories of cell phone loss or damage. His favorite? A woman who was at a club was so drunk that when she was leaving the bathroom that when she realized she didn’t have any money to tip the bathroom attendant – she gave the woman her cell phone.

I don’t think sending my phone through the spin cycle of my Kenmore will beat that story.

I had to send an email to all my friends and ask for their phone numbers and endure endless blonde jokes the next day at work. Sadly, the company that provided my replacement did not have a blue Katana. Instead, I got a bit of an upgrade to a Katana 2 Black, which arrived on Thursday. Two hours after I programmed every last number back in, I was back in business.

Tonight, I was tacking the back pocket flaps down on my cargo pants and Jene’ laughed because she thought I was sewing the leg pocket closed so I would never leave my cell phone in them again. While that might seem like a good idea given my sleepless state and propensity for clumsy moments, it is the only place I can put my phone when I wear those pants.

Instead, I will make a sign for the lid of the washer that says, “HAVE YOU EMPTIED YOUR POCKETS?! ALL OF THEM?!” When I get too tired to notice that, then you’ll be reading about the demise of Katana 2 Black.

What I need instead, is a good night’s sleep…with my phone right by my alarm clock.