DEAR TAMOXIFEN, IT’S NOT ME – IT’S DEFINITELY YOU

I’ve been off the Tamoxifen for a week now and I’ve already seen improvement.  The joint pain has lessened, and today I did a series of stretches that felt so good.  I will see how I feel tomorrow.  Lately when I’ve tried moving around quite a bit I hurt like hell the next day. I’m hopeful that trend is about to end.

Tuesday, I was hungry. Not ravenous, but the feeling that I hadn’t eaten in a while was present.  My weight doctor wants me to eat more calories in a day and quite honestly, I just haven’t felt like eating at all.  Maybe I will now.

I’ve actually slept a bit better, my brain is firing better, and feel less foggy. I am looking forward to getting back to more photography and writing, both of which are satisfying and fun for me.

I had a physical on Friday and my blood pressure was perfect, and she said I was in good health for the most part.  She could see something was different and I told her I was no longer taking Tamoxifen. At first, she was surprised, but she calmly asked me why, she listened, and she suggested before I make a clean break to get a second opinion.  She also warned me that my oncologist would be angry and upset.

I fully expect my oncologist to be angry and upset, but I am resolute. I already feel so much better that I can’t imagine willingly taking a carcinogen daily again.  I can imagine by my appointment in October that I will feel so much better that I will have a hard time taking her anger seriously.

I have reached out on several support groups/forums and I am getting quite a bit of support.  It’s a good feeling to know I’m not alone, I’m not insane for taking back control of my body.

Oh, my dear Tamoxifen, this breakup is going better than I thought – and it’s you, it’s definitely you.

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