Tag: weight loss

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POST-OP MUSINGS

Posted on by sassysheisme

Well, Monday has come and gone. I had my surgery! I have entered the two week period of “What did I just do to myself!” and the endless sipping of liquids.

The surgery went well. After surgery I had an extremely difficult time for a few hours with the nausea and being paler than usual. It took whoever brings up the meds an hour and a half to get me the anti-nausea meds. I was not happy about the response time at this hospital. They did turn the temperature up in the room, which helped, and I finally settled into sleep.

Dear Laura, who has been with me now through two surgeries, delivered me to the hospital in the morning darkness and was sitting by my bed for hours. Finally, she went home and I settled into getting woken up every two hours to walk, take meds, vitals, etc.  I did walk for the first time later that evening, and again at 3 AM and more frequently thereafter. 

I couldn’t have water until I passed the dye test on Tuesday morning, which was a bit of a surprise to me. Not even ice chips. The nurse brought me swabs to keep my mouth moist. After doing the breathing treatments, my throat already sore from the surgery, I was ready for those swabs!  

The nurses began saying I would go home Tuesday if I passed the dye test – my doctor was infamous for sending patients home as soon as possible to recoup. I had all my tests extremely early that morning and then around 1 PM the doctor came in and told me I could go home.

The discharge nurse then told me I had to fill the pee pan to a certain level before SHE would let me go home. Keep in mind my stomach now only holds four ounces of anything and I had been denied liquids until about 11 that morning. 

I had gathered a bit of water, Gatorade, sugar-free lemonade around me and started sipping. And sipping. And sipping as much as my tiny pouch would hold. Output was slow. I’ll be honest, it was 4:30 before I made the offering satisfactory to my nurse! 

Finally, I was able to come home and climb into my recliner and start sipping more liquids. I took my pain medicine as soon as Laura brought it to me. I must have drank it too fast, because I had my first experience with dumping syndrome (cramps, nausea, and a fever spike). I’m glad I got that out of the way – I do NOT want to go through that ever again and now that I know what it feels like, I will walk the straight and narrow!  (which is not easy to do alone and out of it).

My college roommate, Becky, helped take care of her sister, Sarah, when she had the surgery a few years ago. Becky was her drill sergeant and made sure she did all her breathing exercises, drank her fluids, etc. They both made the offer to help me out and every day they have been chatting with me, and the accountability is wonderful. If you’ve ever seen the Beckster Stare of Disapproval you don’t ever want to see it again! I’m so grateful for them and their help! 

Now I need to sip. I can hear Becky saying that from far away. Just keep sipping. Just keep sipping. Just keep sipping…

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ONE WEEK TO GO!

Posted on by sassysheisme

I’m down about 8-9 pounds on the high protein pre-op liquid diet.  I stopped begging people to bring me a bucket of chicken (kidding) on Thursday. I finally am experiencing ketosis, which basically means my liver is shrinking and my fat is burning.  I am no longer “hungry.” 

I can understand why people fast. It does bring a clarity of mind. I have also experienced hunger, true hunger, for the first time in recent memory. It made me think of the little girl I sponsor in India and how I never want her to ever know hunger again. To not be able to satisfy that ache in the belly for an indefinite period of time – I don’t even want to think about it.

One week to go until surgery.  I’m going back to work tomorrow for the week in between and I’m happy to have a reason to get out of the house – to feel useful. One more week of no food whatsoever, then the real test begins.

I’m happy, truly, to be attacking the obesity problem in my life, to finally be pro-active in my health. I have become a recipe diva (imagine doing this while not eating) and am ready to face the challenge of rebuilding my shrinking body. 

I’ve got this.

I’m sure the next week will fly by. I can’t believe I had surgery four weeks ago and haven’t been in my regular routine since. I know I will look back at this season and see many threads I can’t at the moment. 

The tapestry will be beautiful and it will be mine.

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VANILLA & ORANGE CREAM LIFE

Posted on by sassysheisme

I have started the pre-op liquid diet. 3-5 shakes a day of two flavors (vanilla and orange cream). Don’t know how much weight, if any, this particular part of the journey will remove, but the shakes will help me prepare my liver to move out of the way for surgery (by shrinking).  

Am I hungry? After the last few months eating to prove a point, of course I am. I am not above chewing cardboard at this point…but I won’t because I’m determined to make the adjustment. One day, I will be able to eat solid food again – anything I want – and I plan on being quite the food snob by then.

I can’t believe I’m having surgery in 12 days. 12 days to change my life for the better forever!

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RUBBER, MEET ROAD

Posted on by sassysheisme

Tomorrow I go see my bariatric surgeon for my pre-op appointment. I will also get my vitamins and the protein powder for my liquid diet. 

It’s here, folks, the moment I’ve waited for since August. Finally moving forward with my weight loss surgery! Ever since I made the decision to walk this path, I have anxiously, and sometimes impatiently, paced along the start line. 

I am more than excited to finally push the “go” button. My life will never be the same. I will have to eat differently for the rest of my life. Given the alternative, I am determined to do whatever it takes to lose this weight and keep it off. 

Whatever the weight loss unearths, I am ready for it. Whatever I need to deal with, I will. I have never felt so determined to get healthy and stay there in my entire life. I know this will not be easy, in fact, I know this will be my toughest journey yet. 

I am going to try to get some “before” photos tomorrow and start keeping track of inches lost. I cannot wait to see what’s around the corner. 

To borrow from a phrase from my childhood (knee-high by the fourth of July), my slogan is, “half-thigh by the fourth of July,” or something like that. It will happen faster than I will believe.

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FORCED REST – YES, THAT’S GOING WELL

Posted on by sassysheisme

I’m almost three weeks out from my surgery now. I’m out of the big pain meds and am surviving on hands full of ibuprofen. I’m still falling asleep at random times, proving I still need rest. 

I have issues with staying still most of the time. I was one of those kids with perfect attendance through most of the school career, mostly because I had a mother who insisted that I take school very seriously and therefore must be present even if I had to be propped up in a chair. If I could sit up, I could go to school. 

Therefore, being forced to sit at home and recover is about the worse torture I could experience at the moment (except maybe for sit-ups and backbends). I can only watch so much tv, read, tv, read, tv… I can’t drive, so I’m pretty much stuck at home unless someone comes along to take me somewhere. 

I’m trying to work from home, but the laptop I have to work with is way too big, way too heavy, and in my condition, very difficult to use. I have a couple of ideas to try this week to see if I can make it work, but to say I’m disappointed that this isn’t working out like I’d planned is an understatement. Of course, I am not one to give up easily, so I undoubtedly will find a solution. Working will at least keep me busy a few hours a day.

The good news is, I have my pre-op appointment for my weight loss surgery next Monday. Then, I will start my liquid diet and have my surgery March 25th. I’m very excited about this period of my life, and if I can go to work before my next surgery, I will feel even better. 

I will be able to get my life moving again at the beginning of April, and that has me very excited about the future. For now, I must be patient and listen to my body’s need for rest, which is not easy, but I will comply because I want what lies on the other side of this lesson – health and vitality.

 

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DETOURS AND ORANGE BARRELS

Posted on by sassysheisme

Last week, during the waning days of Suckuary, I received a phone call from my OB/GYN. While I love Dr. E, whenever she calls me, it’s not always good news.

Very gently, Dr. E started to explain, in detail, the results of my ultrasound.  Turns out my uterus is 5.5. I have no idea what that means, but Dr. E explained that a uterus of 5 is not good so a 5.5 means surgery. She explained I am full of fibroids and then moved on to one of my ovaries and explained it was full of a lot of something, likely cysts.

Dr. E then said the word I have dreaded since I had breast cancer and started taking Tamoxifen – hysterectomy.  

While I’ve known for years now if I ever became a mother this child would likely not have my genes, hearing the word hysterectomy turned the blood in my veins ice cold.  A hysterectomy makes this my-gene-less child a reality. Final. Case noisily and painfully closed.

Let me interject here that I am totally fine with adoption and have had it on my mind for years. My niece and nephew are adopted and I love them and I’m grateful they are part of my family.

Adoption, however, became uber complicated the minute I leapt into my forties, remained unmarried and slammed into a breast cancer diagnosis.  Whenever I’ve contemplated adoption, I have envisioned riding a camel through an eye of a needle or finding a Camel cigarette in a haystack. Either way the journey to motherhood now appears painful, long and tedious.

Dr. E’s insistence that the surgery happen sooner rather than later didn’t help my spirits. I’ve been waiting to be approved for bariatric surgery. I have been waiting since August and have had to file an appeal because my sleep apnea number wasn’t high enough and I was TWO pounds underweight for an automatic approval. This situation illustrates what’s wrong with the insurance industry. 

I am a big believer in timing and that life unfolds as it should, so now, knowing I had to get a hysterectomy, I finally understood why I had to wait for weight loss surgery. Nevertheless, that did not stop me from contacting Vice Presidents and other people high up the food chain at the insurance company and telling them my story and asking them for help with my appeal. (By the way, if I don’t hear from you by Friday, we’re doing it all over again).

I’m having a hysterectomy as soon as next week. Not sure exactly when, but I’ll let you know. An oncologist will be present during surgery and will let Dr. E know whether cancer is present.  She doesn’t think it’s cancer, but with my history and Tamoxifen we have to be sure.  I have to get bloodwork done tomorrow and I’m sure time will fly faster than I want it to pass. Then I will be uterus-less and only have one remaining ovary and I will move on to the next phase of my life.  

My childless life.

While I’m sad that I will never carry a child, or even be granted the official title of Mother, God has reminded me of how many young people I’ve “mothered” and mentored and befriended. The word mother doesn’t include the word uterus and I still have a lot of years left to see how God is going to work everything out in this area of my life.

So many have expressed their sadness over, “no babies.” I appreciate it, but my life is not over because I have no child (and yes, there are moments I have to re-convince myself of this). I try not to think of what I don’t have in my life, I think about what I do have. I have many “children.” I have many friends.  I have a great family.

My life is very, very full, even if my uterus never was.  

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ONE STEP CLOSER

Posted on by sassysheisme

Today, I had my first dietician appointment of three, requirements to be met before surgery.  

This wasn’t a typical nutrition class. I have to relearn everything I know about eating and chewing. Drinking. Everything.  For anyone out there who thinks I’m taking the easy way out, they haven’t done their homework. 

I have. Now I have to put all this into motion.  I am now on a 1200 calorie a day diet between now and surgery (between 10-12 weeks down the road). The funny thing is, I can barely eat that many calories per day and I still can’t lose weight. I will implement the changes anyway. Habits are good to form now, rather than later.

I can’t wait to be further down the road, but I want to do this right, so step by step it is!