A FUNCTIONING INSOMNIAC

By Thursday afternoon, I was spent. A grand total of 3 1/2 hours sleep in two days left me dry and frazzled. I could hardly think a complete thought, yet I decided I need groceries since it was payday. After work, I went to the grocery store… a task that is usually simple and over in twenty minutes.

I went shopping for what we like to call, “easy food.” Easy food includes things like cereal — things I can eat with absolutely no prep or fully functional brain waves. Too bad I can’t shop without fully functional brain waves.

I made it to the grocery store. I had made a list earlier that day when I was lucid, so I would go and follow the list only and not go home with things like cumquats and overly ripe kiwis… things I didn’t need.

I thought I was doing great, because I found everything on the list and then got in a short line. I was fishing my wallet out of my purse and then realized that my favorite ring — a cubic z daisy — the top part had fallen off. I remembered looking at the ring while in the store, so I got out of my short line and retraced my steps… which is extremely difficult when you aren’t sure where you went in the first place.

Using the items in my cart as a map (see, I wasn’t completely brain dead), I calmly retraced my steps. The part to my ring was in the middle of the aisle where I picked up my refried beans, thank goodness. I was grateful I was able to keep calm with my emotions as raw as a homemade noodle. I’m not sure the ring is fixable, but maybe I can use the top part of the ring in a necklace or something. I don’t know, but it’s found.

I got home and started putting my groceries away. My hands were shaking at this point, I was so tired. I dropped a plastic jar of juice on the floor and the cap broke off. At this point, I was mildly amused instead of angry. I managed to salvage half the jar. I threw every towel we had in the kitchen on the floor, then went upstairs to change clothes, because, well, scrubbing the floor was in my future and I didn’t want to do it in my good clothes. I called Jene’ and told her that I’d do my best, but if the floor was sticky, I was sorry. She laughed and told me to go to bed. I wish I could have.

Since I still had to take my meds, I couldn’t go to sleep yet, so I scrubbed the floor, then ate some cereal. I took the meds, did some Tai Chi and then took a nice, long hot bath. I was in bed by 10. Slept a half hour or so then fell back to sleep around 5.

I took my last pill Friday night and slept, though fitfully in 2-hour increments, most of the night. I woke up at noon face down in my pillow, which is not how I sleep at all. I stayed up all day and went to bed again at midnight. All that to say, I think my sleep patterns are on their way to returning to normal.

I’m happy for that… but now I can’t blame the silly things I do on lack of sleep!