We haven’t had a significant rain several weeks. The evidence is not dry streets. The SPOD (Spring Pollen of Death) has coated my car in a greenish-yellow paste and has for quite some time now. I’m giving the weatherman one last chance to predict a PWCW (Poor Woman’s Car Wash) tomorrow. If he lets me down, I will have to seek out a place to rinse off my car, which is currently a rolling advertisement to SPOD.
I haven’t taken many photos lately or written much. I’m trying to give my body and brain time to find their balance as the doctor monkeys around with my thyroid and vitamin D levels without pressuring myself to flip the creative switch. Apparently my vitamin D levels were so low, and have been for some time, that I have to take 50,000 units of vitamin D per week to try and catch up. Most people take 400 units a day. Couple that with questionable thyroid levels and I’m amazed that I wasn’t worse off hormonally than I was.
I do have to say, just over a month into this whole process, I do feel so much better than I did in January that it’s difficult to describe. The doctor did say that all of my levels will not be “normal” until sometime in late summer, which I can’t even imagine how much better I’ll feel then. I can say it’s amazing what a better functioning thyroid and increasing vitamin D levels do for the human body. Thank goodness I felt the freedom to tell my doctor to figure out what the hades was wrong with me and not put up with, “there’s nothing we can do,” like I did last time.
My energy levels still aren’t what I had hoped, but I am exercising again. I am still not sleeping like I’d hoped, but I am sleeping more. I have to remember that one month of meds doesn’t erase what was estimated as years of deficiency overnight. I still have hope that my energy levels will continue to rise, that my creativity levels will also continue to rise, and my general health will also continue to rise.
I also feel less…doomed, for lack of a better word. I feel like I am going to be all right now. My brain is no longer foggy or weighed down by sadness or hopelessness. I never imagined how much of my issue was physical on top of the mental demons I fight. The demons seem smaller now, because they are no longer magnified by deficiency.
That’s not to say I don’t feel sad sometimes or feel a little crazy, but those times are mostly in my rear-view mirror now. The rain can fall, but it doesn’t drown me. I am looking forward to what the next few months will bring and seeing the results of hard work and the ability to keep a disciplined thought.
Hopefully, the rain will come tomorrow and I will enjoy it…and my car will be free of SPOD. Well, ok. Free-er of SPOD.
Sassy Dreams Awake 