Posted in Activism, advocate

Black Lives Matter

Let me preface all this with – I’m white. Grew up in an all white community in an all white church. I do not pretend to know what it’s like to be judged just because our skin tones are different and I won’t pretend to.

It’s so difficult to peel away a lifetime of white privilege. You have to be deliberate about it to find your way to a new perspective, to try and see a life from a different point of view.

People who haven’t peeled back their white privilege say things like, “but all lives matter,” or “but I’m not racist.” Like I said, it’s a difficult process.

Responding with “All Lives Matter,” when someone (especially if they are black) says “Black Lives Matter,” tells them you don’t think black people are hurting or persecuted. It invalidates them and their pain and struggle.

I know most people mean it out of love for all lives. But all lives aren’t being persecuted right now. All lives aren’t equal in the eyes of America, and unfortunately, the law.

Honor the struggle of our black brothers and sisters and say it out loud, “BLACK LIVES MATTER!” When you say that, you say to a black person that you care about them and their struggle. You would be shocked at how far that goes. When you are hurting and angry, don’t you wish someone would tell you that you matter?

Of course some say “All Lives Matter” defensively, as if Black Lives Matter means white ones don’t. I don’t have time for you right now.

When a person says, “Black Lives Matter,” they are saying that a black life matters JUST AS MUCH as anyone else’s. In this case, save the “All Lives” when all lives really do matter equally.

Posted in Activism, badassery, GLBT, LGBT, politics, safe, Uncategorized



Whether you agree with the safety pin movement, I ask you to think about all the marginalized people groups you know of, and friends you know who are labeled into those groups.  While a safety pin is a small gesture, a gesture some mock or ridicule or label too small, it’s a step in the right direction.  The hearts are in the right place. We shall soon see if their hands, feet, mouths and ears are in the right place as well.

I’ve always thought of myself as a safe space for people. In hindsight, I know that was not always true.  I was often judgemental and closed minded.  While I know that I’ve come quite a long way (a canyon’s divide) from where I once was, I’m only beginning to understand how to be a safe space, and I hope to become a proactive safe space.

One step at a time. First I must ensure I am a safe space for those who need it. I must seek to understand a pain or fear I perhaps have not experienced myself.

Second, I must listen more. I do a lot of talking. I seek to heal, empower, and encourage people with words. Sometimes, safety is found in my silence.  Sometimes, it’s found in the words I’m afraid to say aloud. No more fear.

I’m still trying to find words for all I’m feeling right now.  Still digging through. The main point of this post is to say I’m a safe space for those in fear, those who feel unheard, threatened, or pushed to the margins. As a single, middle-aged woman, I am in some of those margins myself.

For now, I hope this is a good first step. If you need a safe space, I’m here for you.