masks – Sassy Dreams Awake

I’ll be honest. This was about as much of a gut punch as I needed today.

I’ve done everything I’ve been told to do. Stayed home for over 102 days. Didn’t travel. Been out only a handful of times when I was assured I wouldn’t come in contact with another human. Worn the mask.

Yet the governor decided to open the economy back up. And I get it. It was a gamble, a misguided hope that sunlight/warmth would offset the spread of the virus. So the economy started to open back up and then… people decided it was over. Stopped social distancing. Stopped wearing masks.

And here we are. Back at @*#&! square one because they were in a hurry to get back to normal during a pandemic with no vaccine in sight. They gambled, and we lost.

Now I’m stuck with no end in sight for the foreseeable future. When I started my daily updates, I had no idea I’d be doing it for so long – with no end in sight.

I am resilient. I know it. I just need to vent out this pressure. Readjust. Find something to help me keep my balance. And one day, we’ll hug and hold hands and share wine glasses again (maybe). One day.

It’s Day 100 of social distancing/working from home/protecting myself from COVID 19. I celebrated with a glass (or two) of wine, homemade turkey meatloaf (with feta), and an ice cream sandwich.

While COVID 19 cases continue to climb where I live in Texas, I still see people outside in groups without masks. ICU beds at the Texas Medical Center are at 97% capacity. I think the evidence speaks for itself. It’s serious, y’all.

I know humans can be selfish creatures, but politicizing mask-wearing seems almost criminal. The science says we’d save thousands upon thousands of lives for this supposed interference with personal freedoms. If you can’t find it in your heart to do something so simple to help your fellow man, well, search your heart. We all can do better by each other.

It’s been rainy, so I haven’t been out for a walk for a while. I try to keep busy reading, working, cleaning, writing. As the news pours in that COVID is holding my freedom hostage (not the masks, the disease), I get discouraged. I want to take a vacation – visit people, places. I want to not be afraid to go to the office. I don’t necessarily want normal – I never relish normal – but I would like some freedom to return without having to put my health at risk to have it.

Yet there are people in my life who tell me it’s not real. It’s not serious. I’m overreacting. Well, I don’t believe that and I’m sorry you do. Really. I hope you and your families stay healthy. It saddens me, though, that if you cared a smidgen about the people around you, wore the damn mask, all this would be over all that much sooner and all of us could move on.

I’m tired of bargaining with people. I’m tired of presenting facts and being met with cognitive dissonance so deep I know there’s no hope of reaching a person. Most of all, I’m just tired.

Fortunately, I still have my sense of humor, and social media, Teams, FaceTime, and texts keep me connected with the outside world. I’m grateful for all the people that are sincere with, “how are you doing?” and for the ones that send me jokes that make me groan. This is what community is all about.