I’m still trying to pull these thoughts together as midnight approaches. Forgive me if I ramble a bit.
I haven’t fallen off the face of the Earth, I’ve just been busy…New job, Christmas shopping, connecting with new friends, reconnecting with old ones, trying to get as many cards out as I can before I resort to e-cards… life always intervenes with life.
I have found ways, however, of having a few still moments here and there during the business and busy-ness that surrounds me. I dig in, press in, and lean into the wind and waves of the season. I can’t help myself. Like the Magi, I desire to keep following the star until I come face to face with the living God. I look to the sky and the star winks back and lights my way through the holiday maze.
There is a tremendous difference between the Christmas Season and Advent to me. One is a series of traditions and events that lead to a day in December, the other is a holy day that fills me with wonder and deepens my journey even after December is over. I pray I can keep up with all I’m learning and feeling.
As I feel my way through the holidays, something unexpected is happening. It doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. Feeling is no longer a scary shadow monster that lurks around a corner waiting to knock the wind out of me. Feeling is a curious journey through days and hours where I might feel everything from anger to amusement, fear to happiness, joy to sorrow, but it’s not a rollercoaster or hurricane, or tidal wave… feeling just is.
Right now, I don’t have the time or mettle to really process feeling just is, so I’m just going to feel my way through and return to that part later. Feeling just is will be there waiting for me. I’m sure I’ll find something to share.
…and now I’m feeling tired.
Immanuel, God with us
Every moment, before and after
And during… the best part
When he walks beside me
And I feel His presence there