On August 21st, I celebrated my one year anniversary of taking the cancer-preventative drug, Tamoxifen. I’ll be honest, it has not been an easy year, and I’ll be more honest, I am not happy that I have four years left to take it. This drug, however, will help me not get breast cancer again, so I take it, grudgingly.
This far into the post-cancer journey, I am by no means back to normal or happy with where I am in the recovery/moving on process. I am, however, taking steps to ensure that I do move on, and I do more than recover.
Last month, I went to see my new allergist, Dr. D. Dr. D has really helped me so far, and while I am still allergic to most everything I tested for 7 years ago, I am happy to report I can eat chicken again! I have eaten so much chicken in the last three weeks, I may cluck with joy. I am so happy to have chicken as an option again.
Dr. D is going to start me on shots in a couple of weeks. I really like her. Unlike my last allergist, she listened to me, asked questions, and wants me to be a well-rounded person. Dr. D, coincidentally, studied Tamoxifen in college. I’ve been able to get a lot more information and support about this med than I have in a while.
So while I’m getting that part of my life under control, I now am onto the next phase of my new life. A year ago, when I started taking Tamoxifen (which makes your body think it’s pregnant and holds onto every pound), my oncologist said that since fat stores estrogen and my cancer was estrogen positive, I needed to be about 100 pounds less than I am now. I told her that was highly unlikely any time soon.
“Then we need to talk surgery,” she strongly suggested.
“Surgery?”
“Weight loss surgery. Bypass, I’m thinking.”
At that moment, I was not ready to hear that I needed surgery. I told her no way and she left it alone for the time being.
In April, at another checkup, my oncologist noted I’d only lost 7 pounds. I felt estatic over that number considering how tired I’d been. She was not amused. She mentioned surgery again. I was not amused.
I started doing research on bariatric surgery and what it would entail. I began to deal truthfully with myself as well. I’d been overweight since I was 8 years old and for various reasons, I had not been able to lose weight and keep it off, and in the last 5 years or so, losing was nearly impossible.
I talked with three friends who have had this surgery and the consensus seems to be this:
- Bariatric surgery is not the easy way out.
- It’s a long, very long journey.
- Bariatric surgery takes a complete life change to make it work. It’s only a tool. The rest is up to the person.
- SO VERY WORTH IT!
I have talked with a few more friends who have had either banding surgery or other forms of weight-loss surgery. All say it was difficult, but worth it.
After a lot of self examination, I decided that if I was going to get to this magical land on the other end of the scale, then I was going to need help. I rarely ask for help. In fact, having to admit I needed help with my weight was a big barrier. A friend told me that knowing I needed help was, “discernment.”
Last week I had another followup with my oncologist and I told her I was ready to have the surgery. She seemed surprised but glad I was taking this seriously, as I was back up 6 pounds and in one year had only lost a pound. I was just happy I hadn’t really gained weight beyond that.
She referred me to the Davis Clinic here in Houston (thedavisclinic.com). Dr. Garth Davis had a show on TLC a few years ago called, “Big Medicine.” He is the surgeon I am going to see on September 21. I am excited to have this moving forward and ready to get this part of my life under control. Not only will I get the surgery, I will be seeing a psychologist and a dietician.
My plan is to live a long life. Getting the weight off will help bring that to reality. I know that once I get the weight off, with God’s help and with support I can keep it off.
I have already gotten many comments and negative feedback. Mostly from skinny people or people who lose weight easily or people who can’t imagine themselves going without their favorite foods for a very, very long time.
I am drawing the boundary line right here and now. Keep your negative comments to yourself. I do not need to hear your negativity. It will not make me change my mind. I’m going forward with this. If you can support me that would be wonderful, if not, I can appreciate standing up for what you believe in, and I will miss you.
I will be updating quite a bit more now, as keeping a blog during this transition will be very helpful. I’m getting excited about the positive changes I’m making in my life and I’m ready to be the healthiest I’ve ever been!
Sassy Dreams Awake 