FEMININITY AND THE SHORT, SASSY ‘DO

I went to see my favorite hair artist, Nora, this week. I asked to keep my hair short, and now that my face is considerably thinner, she agreed rather quickly.

My hair is the shortest it’s been since the 3rd grade, when I demanded my waist-length hair be trimmed exactly like my brother’s. My mother cried for two days and a braid was kept of that hair in a jewelry box until a couple of years ago when my brother (who now has it) asked if he could throw it away. Though he dashed my dreams of creating a mini-me clone, I told him he could.

This haircut wasn’t drastic (to me) because my hair was already short. To others, however, my haircut was a shock, be it good or bad.  I find the diversity of comments made interesting:

  • “You look like a boy.”
  • “It’s sassy!”
  • “Too butch.”
  • “You trying to not look like a girl?”
  • “You should grow it back out. Short hair isn’t feminine.”

I didn’t get the pixie cut to be trendy or hip. I got the pixie cut because I look good with it, I now have 5-minute hair, and my thin, fine hair is no longer a liability.  I personally don’t find long hair feminine per se and my femininity certainly isn’t tied up in the length of my locks.

My femininity transcends my hair length. Femininity is about energy, strength, action & conviction. It has nothing to do w/ponytails or lace, or wearing skirts instead of slacks. Femininity is about attitude, or in my case, my Sassitude. Yes, I can wear more feminine clothes, accessorize, and makeup, and I’m exploring that.

I’ve lost 50 pounds so far. This weight loss has allowed me more freedom to explore my “girlie” side, being able to buy whatever styles I wish in almost any store.  I have no desire to dress like a 20 year old (except for the combat boots).  That said, I am still defining my personal style.  The key word being personal.

I have no idea why people say, “I don’t like it,” to my face in regards to my hair. They are certainly entitled to their opinion. Of course, their comments are so much more about them than me, and I get that. I usually respond, “well, it’s my hair and I love it.” And I do.

I am open to suggestions and help in defining my style and have been grateful when people have taken the time and care to say, “hey, have you thought about wearing scarves?” or “have you been to Charming Charlie?” Style is a whole new world to me. I am much more open to comments like that rather than being told that without long hair I can’t look like a woman.

While I’d rather focus on what’s going on inside of me than on the outside, I do understand and acknowledge that the outside is important, and I’m working on it. What shouldn’t surprise people, however, is that my style is going to be MY style, and that might still yet involve a long skirt and some combat boots, and SHORT, SHORT, hair.

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