sassysheisme

Posted on August 3, 2003 by sassysheisme

WHERE WAS THE PLUS SIZE HIGH SCHOOL WHEN I NEEDED IT?

Many of you have probably read about Harvey Milk High School, the publicly funded high school in New York City created specifically for gay, bi & transgender students. (read here: http://www.msnbc.com/news/945134.asp) I won’t debate the moral implications here. I just want to know how segregation of any sort is a move forward in any group’s desire to be equal, mainstreamed, or accepted. In my opinion, this is a huge step backward from their goal of equality.

The main reason for this high school is so the students won’t have to endure persecution, teasing, or harassment. Not to belittle anyone’s feelings, but, “So what?” Some measure of teasing and harassment is a part of high school. I was a shy, overweight kid… and I got made fun of all the time. I mean, if someone had approached me about Plus Size High, in principle, it may have sounded like a good idea at the time… but if you are overweight, shy, a nerd, wear glasses, wear braces, or have a face covered with zits — you’re going to get teased. If you’re beautiful, popular, into sports or one of the rich kids… you’re still going to be teased. Of course, I am not saying teasing is right. I’m just saying, for the most part, it happens — everywhere.

Teasing happens in private schools, for even in private schools, everyone is not equal. Someone always has more money or brains. Teasing happens in Christian schools, for even in Christian schools, not all kids are equal. Some kids in Christian schools are fat. Some come from broken homes. Some kids have more money than others. Some are there on scholarship. Teasing happens everywhere, regardless of whether it’s a private, Christian, public school, or the playground.

Therefore, I think that this little experiment of a alt. sexuality high school is a mistake. Even within the walls of that “safe” environment, harassment will happen, though the labels will be a bit more different. Too gay, not gay enough, too pretty, too butch, etc., will join the list of too fat, too thin, too smart, too dumb… Put a group of teenagers together, regardless of their sexual orientation, and they will find or make up things to make fun of each other about. Methinks something else is afoot here, but I haven’t decided what it is yet.

Of course, while the Christian community decries the idea of an alt. sexuality high school itself, they only have to look in the mirror to see that they, themselves, have participated in their own forms of self-segregation for years. Christians segregate themselves every day — Christian schools, Christian bookstores, Christian music, a Christian themepark, and now Christian housing developments are springing up everywhere. For a group of people who are supposed to be light in the darkness, every day it seems those lights are running to each other and therefore, by their actions, saying, “let the darkness be damned.” And while the world keeps getting darker around them, the Christian community continues to cry about it, wondering where all their influence, voice, rights, and equality went.

For all the groups out there fighting to influence the world with their agenda… you can’t do it by segregating yourselves on purpose! You can’t influence anyone if you are surrounded by people who think as you do. You can’t influence anyone if you’re only broadcast to people who think as you do. Just as Christians can’t witness to their neighbors if all of their neighbors already share their faith, kids in a gay high school cannot gain acceptance with the rest of the world if they shut themselves off from the rest of the world. Hmm… maybe if we all loved one another (and one another doesn’t mean Christian to Christian) as He commanded us to, maybe gay kids wouldn’t feel like they needed a separate place to go learn.

Just some thoughts on the subject…

commentary

Posted on July 31, 2003 by sassysheisme

I DIDN’T WIN, BUT AT LEAST I BOUGHT A TICKET

“God, I’ve prayed and prayed to win the lottery. Why haven’t I won?”

“Because, my dear sweet idiot child, you didn’t buy the ticket.”

Last weekend, Jene’ and I walked down to the convenience store and bought lottery tickets. Please don’t get all righteous on me, this is was my first time, I did it for fun and it only cost me a dollar. Besides, with my addictive personality, I can only gamble when I have accountabilty. Jene’ was with me and Jene’ will be with me if I ever decide to do it again. (That kooky Jene’… what a stumbling block! — Just kidding!) Heck, I matched ONE number, so that was thrilling. Tells you the state of my life when I can get a kick out of matching one number that yields nothing in return. :p

Even buying just one ticket I can see how people can end up spending WAY too much money on this. The rush of paying a small amount to gain a big amount must be a big draw, otherwise last weekend’s lottery wouldn’t have been worth over $40 million. Jene’ usually spends about $10 a year and makes about $12, so she comes out ahead and she has fun. I know people, though, who “invest” hundreds of dollars at the odds of a million to one that they’ll win a big payout. I call this an unwise investment.

Chances are, the lottery is not your answer. I do, however, hear many people say “when I win the lottery,” oh, how their problems will disappear. No more debt, no more worries about how they will pay for Junior’s college, no more worries about what will happen when their husband dies… And yet, one in a million wins… (and he only wins if he buys the ticket first).

I’m thinking this logic is flawed. I’ve been gainfully unemployed for over three years, and during that time, I didn’t buy a lottery ticket until Saturday. My addictive tendencies aside, the reason I haven’t played the lotto is because I know that such a financial windfall is not likely to happen to me, and I can’t wait for lighting to strike before I release myself from debt or plan for the future. Granted, I’m still in debt, and I have no savings… but it’s been a tough 3 1/2 years struggling to make ends meet. Despite the most erratic of schedules and earnings, each month, the money has been there for my most basic bills.

Would it be nice to win the lottery? I won’t lie — YES IT WOULD BE NICE. I’ve often thought of what I would do with a cash payout of $20 mil or so. Do I wait around to do all those things until I win the lottery? No. That would be such a waste of time. Do I think it’s wrong to play the lotto? Only if the money spent on chances could have fed your starving child or paid your light bill. If it’s “extra money” and not excessive, then why not? I just can’t be one of those people who waits around for something to happen to solve all their problems rather than being the solution to their own problem. I can still say that and laugh as I live in the stressed out arena of looking for a full time job. Day after day, my life has worked out without matching six numbers and a power ball.

health

Posted on July 26, 2003 by sassysheisme

STRESS AND THE BODY: THOUGHTS FROM A LIVING TEST SUBJECT

Stress does interesting things to the body. For the last year, I have experienced everything from tension headaches, backaches, hair loss, upset stomach, insomnia, weight gain, weight loss, weight gain, illness after illness and sometimes, a tightness in my chest. I’ve been sick so much from my stressed out immune system, well, the days that I actually do have energy and feel good I cherish, because I know it will be days or weeks before I can celebrate that feeling again.

This week, I even sought out one of those blood pressure machines at the drug store to make sure the blood I could hear rushing though my veins wasn’t too high. Turns out, my blood pressure is extremely normal. Textbook normal. Under the circumstances, I think this is a miracle. I took a stress test on the internet (http://www.teachhealth.com/#stressscale), however, and scored over 300. Which means: 300 and over: High susceptibility to stress-related illness. No duh.

Well, with that news in mind, I am going to take a walk now… I am told that helps to reduce stress…

technical difficulties

Posted on July 26, 2003 by sassysheisme

DSL FAILURE…

I had this wonderful blog written on July 22nd, commemorating the 9th anniversary of my sobriety. It was deep and meaningful, and when I pushed “send” our DSL cut out and sent my wonderful ramblings into cyberspace. So, rather than try to reconstruct perfection (ha ha), I’ve decided to move on. Maybe on my 10th anniversary next year, I’ll treat myself to something extra special… any suggestions?

pet peeves

Posted on July 19, 2003 by sassysheisme

SOMEDAY, I’LL LIVE IN A HOUSE

Today is one of those days I covet. I covet my neighbor’s house… literally.

I live in a fairly quiet neighborhood in an older townhome. My neighbors are career people and mostly quiet. If a newbie moves in and disturbs the peace (say, drives in every weekend at 4 a.m. with his stereo on full blast and wakes us all up, or has a party with sustained, extrememly loud noise for over an hour), I know one to five of these neighbors will introduce themselves to the newbie and explain the rules. DO NOT DISTURB. If someone is too noisy in this complex, they don’t last for too long. Occasionally, however, someone moves in and decides the rules do not apply to him.

Let me clarify. It’s one thing to be able to hear someone else’s music… faintly in the distance. It’s not so disturbing. It’s an entirely different issue when I am inside my apartment and I can not only hear the WORDS of the song clearly, but FEEL the music as well. I do not appreciate the latter.

It started at 10:30 a.m. when my windows began to vibrate. I turned on my TV, but had trouble hearing over the thumping music. By noon, I was more than slightly aggrivated as I was trying to eat my cereal with “Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby” assaulting my ears. I’d had enough. I walked out the front door and, usually, the perpetrator is someone who is vacuuming/washing their car with the doors wide open (who obviously don’t understand about accoustics or manners). This time, the parking lot was clear. The music was so loud, however, that it made my head throb. I looked down toward the pool area and could see a group down there, so I called the office. I asked her, very sweetly, when their pool party would be over and she asked, “What pool party?” I explained about the annoyance, and she said I was not the first person to complain and she’d paged the “courtesy officer,” to come take care of it. (apparently, she must have been the phone service that the complex uses when they are out on property or something, read on).

That was at 12:15 p.m. It is now 1:40 p.m. and the noise hasn’t stopped. I’m about to call again. (My guess it’s an apartment near the pool and someone set their stereo speakers in the window to enjoy music poolside. I’ve seen it at other complexes).

When you live in a house, you can play your stereo however loudly you like, and nobody cares. Your neighbor can do the same, and for the most part, unless there’s an open window, you can’t hear his music either. Everybody wins. This is one of many reasons I would love to live in a house.

In an apartment complex, however, people feel entitled to act as if they live in a house. They give no mind to who’s sleep/reading/work, they are disturbing, they feel entitled to enjoy their music with the bass boost up to full volume — whenever they feel like it. EXAMPLES: I once lived in an apartment complex that housed young singles, newlyweds and college students. One floor down and two apartments over… a guy had one of those alarms that get louder if they aren’t shut off and they run for a full two hours. The alarm would go off on the weekends (he didn’t sleep at home on the weekends) at 5:45 a.m. and blast for two hours, disturbing up to twenty people in the surrounding apartments. After coming home Mondays to a door full of nasty notes, he made an effort to turn off his alarm when he went out Friday nights. Another time, same complex, the guy next door had a hot date over and turned his stereo on so loud (so they could hear it in the shower, he said), the bass vibrations knocked a picture off my wall (that barely missed my head when it fell). I went over and pounded on the door (with the broken picture in my hand) and finally, he came to the door and I held up the picture and told him to turn it down. His brow creased, as if to say, “Wow, I didn’t think it was that loud.” The four people who had lined up behind me to complain (including the girl from across the hall) seemed to reinforce my point. Yeah, right. And yet another time, in the same complex, the guys downstairs had guitars… with amps. On the night I was trying to make flight plans at 1 a.m. to get home to see my dying brother, I couldn’t even have a conversation on the phone until after I called the “courtesy officer” to come make them shut up. Forget about trying to sleep in my apartment on weekends.

Apartment dwellers pay attention — until you live in your own house, with your own four walls that are separate and detached from your neighbor’s walls… and you no longer share a floor/ceiling with someone — you are not entitled to share your love of Eminem with all those who live around you, and especially not at 4 a.m. I’m sorry, you have your rights, blah, blah, blah, but not in an apartment complex. In apartment living, you must learn to be CONSIDERATE and to SHARE space with up to a thousand other people. Don’t be arrogant enough to think that the lady next door with the infant son, or the elderly couple across the hall love to feel your music. They don’t. If want to have your “musical freedom” that badly… save your money and buy a house. In the meantime, play nice with others, please.

Okay… that’s my rant. Someday, I will live in a house, but until then…

And, it’s 2:45 and I just called the office again, but this time, the apartment worker on the phone said, “yes! We are having a pool party in appreciation of our residents!” I told her I appreciated that, but asked when it would end. She seemed confused, but said 4 p.m. We’ll have peace and quiet at 4 p.m. This resident didn’t appreciate their pool party, and the other people walking around in the parking lot trying to see where the noise was coming from didn’t either. I’m hoping this will be the last DJ’d pool party.

weather

Posted on July 15, 2003 by sassysheisme

CLAUDETTE NO MORE

Claudette’s eye was headed straight toward the Galveston area until about 10 p.m. last night, when the high pressure system north of us (that was supposed to show up a day or two ago) finally showed up and shoved her straight west to Port O’Connor and the Matagorda Bay. Claudette became a hurricane shortly after midnight, packing winds of up to 85 mph (near the eye) by the time she made landfall. Rain and wind from Claudette rolled into town in the wee hours this morning — while I was still in bed. The electricity blinked off a time or two, but then everything was fine. Of course, people all over town lost power, including SBC — our DSL provider. Therefore, it is after 8 p.m. in the evening, and I am just now online for the first time today. Fortunately, I could watch the hurricane coverage on our local channel, and one of the most notable hurricane specialists in the world, Dr. Neil Frank, is a meteorologist for CBS here in Houston. MUCH better coverage than the Weather Channel, who merely yawned and updated the hurricane coverage for about 15 minutes per hour.

There are a few branches down here and there, and, as I said, some were without power for a good portion of the day, but for the most part, Houston is far enough inland that the hurricane was a non issue by the time I woke up at 7:30. I never did lose satellite coverage (our dish is on a pole in a bucket of concrete because our apartment complex won’t let us attach it to anything) and though it rained all day, most of Houston’s streets drained well. So, Claudette wasn’t nearly as bad as her witch sister Allison. We are breathing a sigh of relief here.

In Galveston and Kemah, the storm surge washed away a good portion of all the beaches. In Texas, the state of Texas owns all property between the vegetation line and the water, so many homes have now found themselves on the other side of the line. That should play out nicely. In Port O’Connor and Palacios, the damage was pretty extensive (the dorms of the camp where the middle schoolers go no longer exists), but I don’t think anybody was killed. Of course, the networks had lots of coverage of the IDIOTS who stayed to “wait it out,” and the IDIOT TOURISTS who purposely took their kids down to the seawall to get their pictures taken with the stormy seas behind them. They don’t get my vote for parents of the year.

All in all, though, Claudette is finished here. She is the first hurricane to hit the Texas coast in 13 years, so we’re hoping we’re safe for at least a decade…

weather

Posted on July 14, 2003 by sassysheisme

HERE COMES CLAUDETTE

You know, I have a great respect for technology and science, but I have to laugh at the predictions that Tropical Storm Claudette would “absolutely make an abrupt turn westward,” and make landfall on the border between Texas and Mexico. “Don’t worry, Houston,” they said. “You won’t even know Claudette was here,” they assured. Well, I’ll give them a little credit, Claudette did turn west as predicted… then she thumbed her nose at the entire world of meteorology and said, “I’ll show you and your (bleepin’) computers!” Claudette then turned back east… then west, as if to tease… then north… then northwest… then she stalled, gained momentum, looked about 200 miles north of South Padre’ Island, and said, “Ooh, let’s go play there!” The eye is now predicted to make landfall in Matagorda Bay, about 82 miles southwest of Houston (if that’s what Claudette decides to do. After all, she could just be playing with us).

Claudette’s eye will most likely not pass over Houston, nor will we get much wind and damage from this storm. Houston is on the east side of this tropical storm (that wants to be a small Category 1 hurricane so bad it can taste it) — the side of the storm that nets all the RAIN. The hurricane expert was just asked, “People in Houston are nervous… should they be?” He skirted around the issue and wouldn’t commit, only saying that it will be windy and rainy right now.

Ah, you might sigh, that can’t be all that bad, can’t it? Um… yes it can… and hurricane expert knows this, which is why he won’t commit on how bad it will be because…

Let me introduce you to Tropical Storm Allison (http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/2001allison.html#FIG5) who wreaked havoc in Houston for about ten days in early June, 2001. Allison was a supposedly a relatively harmless tropical storm, and it was supposed to sweep through, bring a little rain, knock down a tree or two, and be gone. If only Allison had been that kind.

Allison attacked on a Tuesday, flooded a good portion of southern Houston (including my friend Ginger’s parent’s house), left and came back that Friday… (flooding Ginger’s parent’s house again) dumping up to 38 inches of rain in East Houston and 20 inches downtown for the week… but a big bucket of that rain came in less than 24 hours. I was in my apartment (on the third floor) that Friday night, watching the radar and wondering how bad things would get. I have never heard it rain so hard. (Ginger, who was on her way back from helping her parents carry all their valuables to the second floor of their house, was caught on the freeway in traffic, which had no place to go because all the access roads and low parts of the freeway were under water. She and her dog, Chloe, spent the night in the car).

Anyway, It was about 10 p.m. when it started raining so hard I couldn’t hear my TV at full volume over the torrential downpour, so I went to bed. At 3:45 a.m., I awoke to people running down the hallways, cussing, screaming, and more than a dozen car alarms. I sleepily pulled on a flannel shirt over my pj’s and stumbled out into the hallway. My neighbor, was on the phone with her son, crying. I walked to the end of the hall and looked down. Every car on the first floor of the parking garage was under water, which was why the car alarms were going off. It was odd, hearing all those alarms and seeing the headlights blinking under the muddy water. My car, thankfully, was on the second floor, nice and dry. I felt sorry for the lady in the next building who had just bought her PT Cruiser. I met several of my neighbors that night, most lamenting parking on the first floor.

The oddest thing about Allison was that several people I knew who lived on the West side of town… got about 1-5″ of rain and they had no flooding at all. The closer into town you got, the higher the rain total. People lost everything they owned, and it took months to clean up. Mosquitoes, a usual problem in Houston, were so thick after this that you couldn’t be outside very long, even with repellent sprayed everywhere. I was proud of how the city banded together to help each other, too. All in all, it was a horrorific experience, though. Not something I want to go through again.

Now back to Claudette. Today at work, several people were talking nervously, wondering if we are going to get flooded again. Granted, in 2001, it was one of the wettest springs ever, and the water had nowhere to go, and this year, though it’s rained nearly every day for 40 days, we are still in a deficit and it would take quite a bit of rain to flood like Allison again.

And… the reason I laugh at the technology is… this is nature for goodness sake! A storm… an entity with a mind of its own that has just made a joke of the hurricane experts…again. Granted, in the past five years, the hurricane gurus have been fairly accurate about strike possibilities, etc., but this time, Claudette giggled, did her own thing, and is about to flex her muscles on the western Gulf coast.

I’ll keep you posted! Don’t worry, if you live on the Gulf Coast, you always have water and food stored for such a time as this… if indeed it becomes such a time as this…

holidays

Posted on July 4, 2003 by sassysheisme

FIREWORKS…

Tonight, I was here at home not feeling the greatest, my roommate was still asleep… and it rained ALL DAY in Houston… so I didn’t go out to watch any fireworks. Not wanting to offer my body up as a mosquito feast, I had pretty much decided earlier today during the monsoon to forego the fireworks and stay home. It got to be 9 p.m. and I heard several “booms,” (of the legal variety of fireworks — for it is illegal to shoot off the kind of fireworks you buy along the roadside within the city limits) and they sounded fairly close. The booms persisted, and finally, at 9:15 I stepped outside to see if I could see where they were coming from. (I’m watching some fireworks on TV now… with the Boston Pops Orchestra, I think).

A four year old and her mother (whose Jamaican/island accent I just loved), all the while swatting mosquitoes, pointed them out for me. I could see 3/4 of the full fireworks above the rooftops of the condo complex just north of my apartment (also between the trees). I enjoyed about ten minutes worth of fireworks, and then they ceased. I could hear others to the south of me, but I couldn’t see them, and the four year old and her mother had retreated to their apartment and I didn’t have a bra or shoes on and decided I’d better head inside myself. I’ve counted three mosquito bites so far.

Fireworks displays in Houston are very impressive. Fireworks are usually shot off at several places in town. Two years ago, Jene’ and I drove around and saw four separate displays without ever leaving the mosquito-free air-conditioned van we had borrowed from a friend. (Last year, we were both sick — and tired). Fireworks also kick off the Christmas season the day after Thanksgiving. Those fireworks are set to Christmas music and it’s usually cool enough outside to actually have to wear a jacket so it almost feels like Christmas (though one year we wore shorts). Now, I’m usually in West Texas for Thanksgiving and the 10 nieces and nephews Jene’ has usually are enough fireworks themselves and I don’t miss seeing fireworks at Thanksgiving anymore.

I love fireworks, though, and when I don’t get to see them at some point during the year, I feel very sad. I guess it’s because I have so many good memories tied up in fireworks. When I was a kid, the Salamonie Festival (Warren, IN) ran during the weekend of July 4th, and it still does. My best friends would get to go to the festival with me, and we’d join my cousins and we’d take our bikes with us and ride all day, taking breaks to swim in my cousins’ pond and cool off, then back into “town” (which was just a few blocks) to meet the parental units and get more cash, check in, and then we’d split to go eat dinner BY OURSELVES. Yes, those were good times…times when you could let your kids run wild in the streets of small town America and not worry.

Later, in junior high, we’d go to Tricia’s house to take a break, and also to my cousins to swim in the pond. We’d still ride bikes, and had front row seats at the parade when we weren’t in it (it’s called a PURDUE float, people, and when your aunt and uncle have a van that has a horn that plays the PURDUE fight song, you decorate it, and you walk beside it in your PURDUE t-shirts and all of a sudden, you’re in a parade with a float with an official number and everything). We’d go to the waterball fights, the bed races, the canoe races, and the variety show (which now features a great number of my cousins and their children these days). Ultimately, however, we’d all end up at the ballpark on the 4th to watch fireworks.

Granted… Warren fireworks were not as impressive as some displays I’ve seen since I’ve moved to Houston, but the amount of fireworks you saw in Warren was in direct proportion to how many people donated some money to buy them… and that is still probably the case today (and they were shot off by volunteer firemen). I can’t tell you, though, how often I am watching fireworks in other parts of the world, and I am transported back to Warren and the fireworks at the ballpark. I’d name everybody I enjoyed that experience with but I’m sure I’ll forget someone (and if you’re that someone, please comment and I’ll add you…), but my friends Tina and Tricia were there, along with Kristy, Brandon, Andy, Joe, and as many other people from school we could round up. I usually had custody of my little brother, Danny, too (3 1/2 years younger). We’d put our blankets out on the grass by the ball diamond, then we’d take turns visiting the concession stand and get the usual ballpark fare… orange push-ups, cokes, popcorn, lollies (sweetarts on a stick), and Bazooka bubble gum. Then, as it would get dark, we’d lay back and stare at the sky until the fireworks were over.

My friends were my sanctuary, and sometimes, my salvation, so meeting up with so many of them in the middle of summer break was more important than you can imagine. I could relax, I felt safe, and I’d get enough of an injection of hope that I could make it until school started again. I always laughed with this group of maniacs, and the fireworks “Ooh…ahh… oh!” contests were some of my favorite times. (Also, sharing a blanket with so many guys…one of whom I had a crush on… without my parents being anywhere too close to where I was… well, though nothing ever happened there, it was still good for the soul…lol). But I digress…

I did defect a couple of times (in high school and after college) to the Huntington fireworks 11 miles up highway 5, but they just didn’t have the same atmosphere. I don’t know when I’ll ever get back to Warren on July 4th, but it’s a time and place that holds a special place in my heart. I will always think of that time in my life and my friends whenever I see fireworks.

Yes, those were great, great times. Happy fourth everybody!

Harry Potter

Posted on June 24, 2003 by sassysheisme

FINALLY FINISHED…

After an hour and a half tearing through the last five chapters of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, I realized Jene’ was right when she said I should wait until today to finish the book. I would never have slept afterward! Now, I have to wait until the next book… (sigh) It really is good reading.

sports

Posted on June 23, 2003 by sassysheisme

CONGRATULATIONS, RICE OWLS!

Houston’s own Rice Owls have won the NCAA Baseball Championship. This proves that smart, articulate people can also play sports…well. It was refreshing to be able to understand every syllable these young men uttered during the post-game interviews. Complete sentences without any, “…uh…” or “…yo…” or shouts out to academically (or criminally) suspended teammates… truly refreshing…

My friend Jarred (Rice graduate) sent me the following. I can only assume that it’s a Rice U. cheer of some sort. (lol)

e to the x, dy/dx;

e to the x, dx;

secant, tangent, cosine, sine;

3.14159;

square root, cube root, btu;

compass, slide rule, go Rice U.!

Cheerleading with an incredibly high GPA…