Category: commentary

SIMPLE PLEASURES

About four years ago, a friend of mine gave me a gift certificate for my birthday to get a manicure & pedicure. (His wife’s suggestion — she said he couldn’t go wrong with that gift — so I guess I should thank her, huh). I lost the certficate, found it, then lost it again until it resurfaced a few weeks ago. Tuesday, I was going to the mall to exchange something, and I realized that the gift certificate said Nails Beautiful was in the same mall… so I thought, “why not?”

Turns out Nails Beautiful moved out of the mall some time ago, but the sweet little old ladies at the information booth told me it was just around the corner in the same building that houses Bally’s. I pressed on. I found Bally’s and finally, Nails Beautiful.

I walked in, and since it was about 2:45 in the afternoon, the place was empty. I quickly explained the story of the gift certificate and the lady in charge said, (with thick Vietnamese accent) that she’d honor the gift certificate, but I’d have to kick in the price difference. Apparently, the prices have gone up slightly. No big deal.

I’ve never had a professional manicure or pedicure before… let alone a manicure with a SPA. Lynn was in charge of my feet, and a woman who never introduced herself was in charge of my hands. Conversation was minimal, because Lynn’s English wasn’t that strong and Miss No Name was content to just work on the hands and converse with Lynn in Vietnamese. Lynn did ask, over the course of the 45 minutes it took to complete the work on hands & feet, what my name was, and she told me hers. When Miss No Name walked away, she slipped me her card and told me that they worked on commission (hint: if I go back next time set up appointment with her). She was very nice.

I absolutely loved the spa and I love to have my feet rubbed. I managed to tell Lynn, without offending or scaring her, that one of my toes was broken and to try to work around it (yes, the toe I “stubbed” on Christmas Eve still hurts, especially when touched). She did a wonderful job, and she massaged both feet, calves, and all my toes (except stubby) and exfoliated my feet as well — all before she even worked on my toenails. Miss No Name massaged my hands, my forearms and my fingers. I was nearly asleep when Lynn accidentally touched my broken toe. I managed a smile and then Miss No Name started on my cuticles.

You know, I’ve always believed I’ve taken care of my nails (toes & hands) adequately… and I would have believed that until I saw how much work these women had to do to get my hands in the condition they are now. Lynn painted my toenails an orange color and Miss No Name put a light misty white color on my fingernails. I wasn’t too sure about putting polish on my fingernails, because I type, and I use my hands to file, etc. Usually, whenever I paint my nails, the fingernails are ruined by the end of the day. That’s why I smooth my fingernails, but rarely paint them. Miss No Name didn’t seem like she’d be satisfied unless polish was applied, so I let her. It was pretty until I scratched my thumbnail while getting gas about an hour later. Oh, well. It doesn’t look that bad, and my nails are still nice and smooth.

When I left there, I went to get my hair trimmed (with the rest of my Christmas money — woo hoo) and he cut it really short… but I flipped it up in the back this morning, and it wasn’t so bad. So, I guess I really did have a day of pampering after all. I never do that, either… maybe I should do it more.

I did decide that once I get a full time job, if the budget allows, I’d like to go visit Lynn and Miss No Name at least once a month. I guess it’s because when I left there, my feet felt lighter than air, and I just love, love, love to have my feet rubbed! It’s one of the most relaxing things ever.

I never thought I’d like to do anything that girly, but hey, it’s never to late for a change of heart.

SUNSHINE AND RAISINS

Let me just say that we’ve had beautiful weather here the past week. Temps in the low 80’s, low humidity, temps around 60 at night, lots of sun… wonderful fall weather for Houston.

Yesterday, I decided to go for a walk and sit out in the sun for a half hour or so. Our apartment complex is surrounded by condos. In the middle of these condos is a nice little park that, during the day, is mostly filled with old ladies walking their “dogs” (any canine that weighs less than 10 pounds and has a higher pitched bark than a toddler imitating them… I don’t consider dogs). I have gone to this park several times over the past two years and have never been bothered, nor bothered anyone else.

So, much to my surprise, I was approached by an old lady (hereafter called, “The Raisin,”) wearing dark sunglasses and an attitude on her wrinkled face. She was accompanied by a “dog,” who quite frankly looked too skittish to bark. The Raisin looked at me and said, “I haven’t seen you around here, do you live here?” I replied, no, that I lived in the apartment complex across the street. She immediately frowned further than she already had been and said, “you’re trespassing, so you need to leave now.” She hastily explained to me about the signs I ignored (there are a couple of signs about no solicitation and no trespassing, but my roommate and I walk through this complex a lot — it’s off the street and safer — and like I said, I’ve used that park bench many times) and then she told me that I should leave immediately or she would call the police. I said, “okay, ma’am,” (see, I was nice) and got up and walked home. The Raisin followed me to the street and made sure I walked out of the complex. Nice lady.

Now, granted, technically, she was right. I didn’t live there, so technically, I was trespassing. There are no gates on this community, so it’s not like it’s totally private and the security officer has waved at me a time or two, so I didn’t think I was hurting anybody. The thing that rubbed me the wrong way is that for two years any other time I’ve been there, most of the old ladies stopped by, said hi, introduced me to their “dogs” and walked off. Many other times I have been the only person in the park. I have never bothered anyone, made loud noise, or disturbed anyone with loud music. I am not dangerous looking by any means. I don’t wear offensive clothing. My presence was not disturbing to anyone I’d met in previous encounters.

I really believe this Raisin just wanted to be mean. That’s what bothers me. I felt sorry for her, though. She smiled at me, a gloating smile, like she’d done something powerful or meaningful, but all she’d done is be mean. And while I didn’t necessarily need her meanness yesterday, I don’t need her bench. I can go somewhere else to sit outdoors (albeit farther away) but she still has to live with her meanness and need for power. I hope she’s happy, having thrown me out of her park, but I doubt that happiness or satisfaction lasts.

WHERE WAS THE PLUS SIZE HIGH SCHOOL WHEN I NEEDED IT?

Many of you have probably read about Harvey Milk High School, the publicly funded high school in New York City created specifically for gay, bi & transgender students. (read here: http://www.msnbc.com/news/945134.asp) I won’t debate the moral implications here. I just want to know how segregation of any sort is a move forward in any group’s desire to be equal, mainstreamed, or accepted. In my opinion, this is a huge step backward from their goal of equality.

The main reason for this high school is so the students won’t have to endure persecution, teasing, or harassment. Not to belittle anyone’s feelings, but, “So what?” Some measure of teasing and harassment is a part of high school. I was a shy, overweight kid… and I got made fun of all the time. I mean, if someone had approached me about Plus Size High, in principle, it may have sounded like a good idea at the time… but if you are overweight, shy, a nerd, wear glasses, wear braces, or have a face covered with zits — you’re going to get teased. If you’re beautiful, popular, into sports or one of the rich kids… you’re still going to be teased. Of course, I am not saying teasing is right. I’m just saying, for the most part, it happens — everywhere.

Teasing happens in private schools, for even in private schools, everyone is not equal. Someone always has more money or brains. Teasing happens in Christian schools, for even in Christian schools, not all kids are equal. Some kids in Christian schools are fat. Some come from broken homes. Some kids have more money than others. Some are there on scholarship. Teasing happens everywhere, regardless of whether it’s a private, Christian, public school, or the playground.

Therefore, I think that this little experiment of a alt. sexuality high school is a mistake. Even within the walls of that “safe” environment, harassment will happen, though the labels will be a bit more different. Too gay, not gay enough, too pretty, too butch, etc., will join the list of too fat, too thin, too smart, too dumb… Put a group of teenagers together, regardless of their sexual orientation, and they will find or make up things to make fun of each other about. Methinks something else is afoot here, but I haven’t decided what it is yet.

Of course, while the Christian community decries the idea of an alt. sexuality high school itself, they only have to look in the mirror to see that they, themselves, have participated in their own forms of self-segregation for years. Christians segregate themselves every day — Christian schools, Christian bookstores, Christian music, a Christian themepark, and now Christian housing developments are springing up everywhere. For a group of people who are supposed to be light in the darkness, every day it seems those lights are running to each other and therefore, by their actions, saying, “let the darkness be damned.” And while the world keeps getting darker around them, the Christian community continues to cry about it, wondering where all their influence, voice, rights, and equality went.

For all the groups out there fighting to influence the world with their agenda… you can’t do it by segregating yourselves on purpose! You can’t influence anyone if you are surrounded by people who think as you do. You can’t influence anyone if you’re only broadcast to people who think as you do. Just as Christians can’t witness to their neighbors if all of their neighbors already share their faith, kids in a gay high school cannot gain acceptance with the rest of the world if they shut themselves off from the rest of the world. Hmm… maybe if we all loved one another (and one another doesn’t mean Christian to Christian) as He commanded us to, maybe gay kids wouldn’t feel like they needed a separate place to go learn.

Just some thoughts on the subject…

I DIDN’T WIN, BUT AT LEAST I BOUGHT A TICKET

“God, I’ve prayed and prayed to win the lottery. Why haven’t I won?”

“Because, my dear sweet idiot child, you didn’t buy the ticket.”

Last weekend, Jene’ and I walked down to the convenience store and bought lottery tickets. Please don’t get all righteous on me, this is was my first time, I did it for fun and it only cost me a dollar. Besides, with my addictive personality, I can only gamble when I have accountabilty. Jene’ was with me and Jene’ will be with me if I ever decide to do it again. (That kooky Jene’… what a stumbling block! — Just kidding!) Heck, I matched ONE number, so that was thrilling. Tells you the state of my life when I can get a kick out of matching one number that yields nothing in return. :p

Even buying just one ticket I can see how people can end up spending WAY too much money on this. The rush of paying a small amount to gain a big amount must be a big draw, otherwise last weekend’s lottery wouldn’t have been worth over $40 million. Jene’ usually spends about $10 a year and makes about $12, so she comes out ahead and she has fun. I know people, though, who “invest” hundreds of dollars at the odds of a million to one that they’ll win a big payout. I call this an unwise investment.

Chances are, the lottery is not your answer. I do, however, hear many people say “when I win the lottery,” oh, how their problems will disappear. No more debt, no more worries about how they will pay for Junior’s college, no more worries about what will happen when their husband dies… And yet, one in a million wins… (and he only wins if he buys the ticket first).

I’m thinking this logic is flawed. I’ve been gainfully unemployed for over three years, and during that time, I didn’t buy a lottery ticket until Saturday. My addictive tendencies aside, the reason I haven’t played the lotto is because I know that such a financial windfall is not likely to happen to me, and I can’t wait for lighting to strike before I release myself from debt or plan for the future. Granted, I’m still in debt, and I have no savings… but it’s been a tough 3 1/2 years struggling to make ends meet. Despite the most erratic of schedules and earnings, each month, the money has been there for my most basic bills.

Would it be nice to win the lottery? I won’t lie — YES IT WOULD BE NICE. I’ve often thought of what I would do with a cash payout of $20 mil or so. Do I wait around to do all those things until I win the lottery? No. That would be such a waste of time. Do I think it’s wrong to play the lotto? Only if the money spent on chances could have fed your starving child or paid your light bill. If it’s “extra money” and not excessive, then why not? I just can’t be one of those people who waits around for something to happen to solve all their problems rather than being the solution to their own problem. I can still say that and laugh as I live in the stressed out arena of looking for a full time job. Day after day, my life has worked out without matching six numbers and a power ball.

CRASH! BANG! BOOM!

… was what I heard and witnessed as a silver Saturn hit my roommate’s car last night. I was following her in my car (we had met somewhere and I was following her home). I won’t bore you with all the details, but she was turning right onto an eight lane street (4 each way). I was watching her turn… a habit I have had for nearly 15 years, because my little brother was notorious in high school for hitting people from behind because he saw them start to turn, then rear ended them because they stopped and he was already looking at oncoming traffic for his opportunity to peel out… I mean, turn. So, I got into the habit of watching and waiting until the person in front of me is gone before I take my turn.

Anyway, after Jene’ had completed the turn and was fully in the lane and a good car length or so down the street, a woman hit her from the lane next to her on her driver’s side. The bang was so loud, and I saw Jene’s driver’s side get hit and then she got knocked up on the sidewalk and came to a very abrupt halt. I didn’t know if her car had been hit in the door or fender and my entire body tensed up (I have sympathy whiplash, lol) because I thought she had been hit mortally (I know, drama, drama, drama). Then, as I turned into the parking lot next to the sidewalk where Jene’s car had come to a stop, she got out of her car so I could see she was okay. I started breathing again.

Jene’s front left fender was smashed and the other car’s front right headlight and hood was damaged. At the angle the damage suggested, the woman entered the lane Jene’ had already occupied. Jene’ said the woman’s silver Saturn was not in her lane when she turned. I believe her. I did not see that part. I was watching my roommate turn as per my habit and it would be very awkward to run into the back of your roommate’s car because you weren’t paying attention… so whenever I am following her I pay extra special attention.

Here’s where the story turns UGLY. I knew when the woman got out of her car Jene’ was hosed… silver Saturn woman was tall, thin, blonde and had big u know what’s. Jene’ asked her (she’s a nurse, she has to) if she was injured, and the girl said, “so you are saying this is your fault!” which told me she already knew she was wrong (there are other juicy details, but I will not post them…). Her version, however, stated that she was in the far lane and Jene’ was pulling out and she hit her while Jene’ was turning and that she “tried to get out of the way as best she could.” Ahem…the damage (and even if I hadn’t been there to see that Jene’ had already completed her turn and was already down the street over a car length) said otherwise.

Silver Saturn woman called the cops at 5:30, about fifteen minutes into exchanging policy numbers and phoning insurance companies and after Jene’ wouldn’t admit fault. Jene’ and I hadn’t really discussed what happened, I asked her if she was okay and I told her that I didn’t see where the silver Saturn had been, I just saw where it ended up and what it did to Jene’. Then I went and sat in the shade by my car and since I felt left out of the phone call marathon, I called Amy and told her what happened and to have my small group pray and then I called Elizabeth, who laughs at me when I’m stressed and talking and venting and her laugh makes me laugh…

We waited over an hour for Houston’s finest. The silver Saturn woman kept saying that she was behind Jene’ and tried to get out of the way but couldn’t get stopped. Get out of the way? Well, I decided that since I had my camera with me I should use it, so I handed it to Jene’ and let her take pics. :p The silver Saturn woman got back into her car, put up her windows and got on the phone again. About twenty minutes later, a man about her age (she was in her mid twenties) shows up with a camera, which I thought was funny. If she uses those pics, they could work against her…

Houston’s finest show up at 6:38 p.m. Two nice, young officers. Jene’ and I looked at each other. We knew how this was going to go. Though both of us are well endowed (lol) we are not tall, (well Jene’ isn’t) and neither one of us is a skinnie minnie. To make it an even better experience than it already was, they even ticketed Jene’, because the girl’s statement was that she hit Jene’ as Jene’ was turning and the law says that if you are leaving a stop sign or light and are involved in a wreck (they also said that all four lanes have to be clear before you pull out, according to the law, to not get ticketed if a wreck happens) you get a ticket.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Jene’, it’s that no matter how much you are being hosed in any given situation, sometimes it’s better to keep your sarcastic mouth shut, so I did (esp. when the hose-er has a badge and a car with pretty lights on top). It was quite obvious to me that the police did not believe me. Yes, I am Jene’s roommate and yes, she’s my best friend, but what they don’t realize is that Jene’ does not lie… not about her age, her hair color, her weight, ANYTHING. Jene’ told me that all she wanted me to say was what I saw, which is what I intended from the beginning anyway. I cannot lie creatively under pressure anyway (lol… just kidding) and the truth is the best route, because you can remember the truth, but it’s always tough to keep your lies straight. Silver Saturn woman will learn, even if not an outcome of this situation, that the truth will set you free.

Policeman A took my statement, and as the ONLY witness, it struck me as odd that he listened to me for less than thirty seconds and didn’t write anything down. Then Policeman B (a trainee who was taking orders from A) took my license number and he wrote down one sentence, that I said that the turn had been completed and she was more than a car length down the street. Then, A & B explain that they are giving Jene’ a ticket and yes, she’s getting shafted, but that’s what the law says, blah, blah, blah. Again, I keep my sarcastic mouth shut and count to ten. Jene’ handles herself as she always does… calmly, with deep breaths and a look of resolution on her face. I knew this would not be handled on the street but later with the insurance people.

Ah, the lovely insurance people. I have nothing but good things to say about Geico… Jene’s company. They were nice, thorough and explained everything quite nicely. Now, Progressive, who represented the silver Saturn woman tried to twist every word I said. The man treated me like a dumb woman. In a very patronizing tone he said, when I told him I was watching my roommate turn… “Are you sure? Because we all know NOBODY watches a car turn, they pull up and are looking the other way to see when they can turn.” I said no and repeated myself and he sighed. Hey, what can I say, I’m unusual. And then, to make my testimony more convincing, when he asked me what kind of police showed up (what kind of question is that?) …I was tired, and I hadn’t eaten and this guy was ON MY LAST NERVE so I asked Jene’, “It was HPD, right, not Metro…” and she looked like she didn’t hear me and I laughed and said, “No, it was the one’s in the blue car, so it was HPD.” They have me on tape saying this. Yeah. So I sound like a dumb roommate to top it all off.

Oh, the joys of car wrecks…And what does my roommate have to say about all this? “That’s life.” I was more angry on her behalf at the injustice of it all, but like she said, if she’s not upset then I can’t be…lol… and as Mary Ann said today, “there’s no grace in that.” All day people asked me what I thought God was trying to teach her (I could detail the calamities of last three years for both of us and we could both legally change our names to JOB, but Jene’ more than me). I told Jene’ that it’s all my fault (kidding) because it’s what God’s trying to teach me that I’m not getting… because, obviously she’s getting it (“that’s life”).

I’m calmer tonight. If I had blogged last night there would have been a gratuitous use of some words and way too much drama… but I realized today that Jene’ has the right idea. Again this goes back to her parenting, (read previous blog). She’s found so many silver linings today (even after the ins. adjuster declared her car totalled, and her car being an older, she will get NOTHING for it — thus leaving her car-less) that she could forge a ring. Nobody got hurt, her car is just a thing, I kept my sarcastic mouth shut, etc…

Things happen. We may never know why bad things happen to good people…again… and again…and again… but they do. What can you do? Like Jene’ often tells me when I’m mid-rant — why waste energy over something you have no control over and cannot change? In mid rant… I have to stop and admit to myself she’s right and not finish my beautifully sarcastic and witty rant. UGH. Is God sovereign or isn’t He? Is God in control or isn’t He? Can God provide or can’t He?

Now, before you draw a halo over Jene’s picture… she’s not dancing around the apartment (she’s too sore anyway) rejoicing over her loss. She’s not calling people and telling them in a joyful tone, “Praise the Lord! Guess what! Today the funniest thing happened… this tall, perky blonde girl hit me and her story doesn’t match up and my car is totalled… and I’m so happy that I don’t have a car anymore and between the two of us the car with air conditioning is now gone and I’m so happy!! WOO HOO!!” No, she’s not happy, but, as she just told me, “The old lady just can’t waste any time on this.” And (blankety blank), she’s right.

So, I’ll end with that and give you a few helpful hints about what to do in case of/or to prevent/or to prepare for an accident…

* First and foremost, always watch the car in front of you turn to make sure they are out of your way. It’s just smart driving. Just ask my brother.

* Put a disposable camera in your glove box for such a time as this… or in case you see Elvis pumping gas off Hwy 36 at 3 a.m.

* If you are in an accident and you don’t look like a runway model but the person who hit you does, prepare to be hosed. Just know it’s going to happen. Be calm. Fight another day. If you look like a runway model — praise God and don’t use your looks to be deceitful. Remember, the truth will set you free and you need to know this because one day you won’t look like a runway model and you need to know how to act when that time comes… because even if you aren’t ready to admit your hoochie days are over but everyone else can plainly see they are, it won’t matter what you think.

* The car really is just a THING. I was driving a buddy’s car (about a year and a half ago) and a sixteen year old kid hit me, and promptly admitted it to his insurance company (then I spent fifteen minutes on the phone with his mother trying to convince her he was indeed okay). I called my buddy to tell him about his car and I expected at least a little anger, blame, something (from past experience with others) and all he said was, “Are you okay? As long as you’re okay, that’s all I care about. The car doesn’t matter.” Though I should have trusted my friend’s character and known he would have reacted that way, that response really taught me something. Jene’s actions over the past two day only reinforced that it’s just a car.

* It’s not about me. It’s not about Jene’. It’s about God… and she’s been able to say, “Well, I’m just going to trust God,” and be a light to an insurance agent. FOCUS.

Jene’ is renting a car to drive to West Texas tomorrow… and I’ll keep you posted. If life lessons keep happening at this rate and I actually keep paying attention… I might have to check and see if my soul has stretch marks. (Yeah, I’m wondering how one goes about that, too).

ORANGE ALERT…

I know our country will be at war within a day or so. I work at one of the largest churches in Texas, and today, we received a four page booklet entitled, “Contingency Plan,” that instructs our staff on the issues of safety during the times of orange alert or higher. It’s really scary that a church would have to have a contingency plan, but we do. The scariest part is, that the larger places of worship in this country are potential targets of terrorists. That’s a heavy load to have on your mind when you drive to work every day, huh?

If there are threats on any church in our area, I can’t take a bag to work, and my purse will have to be searched each time I enter the building. If a church in the area actually gets hit, our church will be locked down, except for one entrance, and they would actually consider canceling all services and move small groups to offsite meeting places.

The saddest part to me is that they would cancel the services. I don’t attend church where I work. I have no idea as of yet what my church’s contingency plan is. I just think that the terrorists win when we are too afraid to go to our places of worship… I mean, after all, if we truly believe that we are saved, then if something does happen while we are in church… does it really matter? I personally believe that if 3,000 people, or even 2 or 3, are gathered praising and worshipping Him, then evil will tremble at the doors.

Please pray for our troops. I barely remember the Vietnam War, but I do remember that many Americans, in their efforts to protest the war itself, turned their backs on the men and women who put their lives on the line to defend freedom for all. Even if you do not agree with the war, please pray for those who are courageously performing their duty to defend freedom for all with their own lives.