Posted in commentary, femininity, random, Yahweh's fingerprints

THE MOST HANDSOME JERK I’VE EVER SEEN

Posted on by sassysheisme

I don’t know if they have HEB grocery stores where you live, but it’s my favorite grocery store. One of the primary reasons I shop there is because all their workers are happy, cheerful, and helpful. I’ve yet to find an exception to this observation. At this grocery store, customer service is primary and I believe one of the reasons for its success. (Don’t worry, Whole Foods you are a close second, and your customer service is also excellent!)

I have purposely stopped shopping at certain stores because their customer service is terrible, their clerks (and managers) are so rude and so sour and beyond unhelpful that I’d rather pay $5 more per shopping trip to shop anywhere else. My time is precious to me, and I’d rather enjoy my time doing something I have to do anyway, than leave a store all tense and drained because of someone else’s rudeness.

The actual story of this blog entry started at HEB Wednesday after work. I was in the checkout line and was greeted warmly by M. She’s scanned my groceries before. Always pleasant. The young lady who was bagging my groceries very graciously ran to get me a bigger cart because I’d overstuffed the little one I had. When she came back, M was almost finished scanning my groceries and was scanning my coupons.

That’s when we both noticed him. A very good looking man had come up behind me. I am rarely caught off guard by how good looking a person is. Quite frankly, I rarely make it past a man’s eyes, but this man caught my attention. He was over 6’ tall, muscular, very short blonde hair, well chiseled face, blue-eyed and just generally FINE. The kind of fine that you thank God for making to decorate the Earth even though you could never picture yourself with someone that breathtaking because he’s too pretty and that kind of pretty is usually more high maintenance than I am. He even made the surgical scrubs he was wearing more handsome. A FINE looking man. Dr. Fine.

I could tell M didn’t feel well but she was still working and still smiling and most important, not complaining or smashing my groceries around. She looked at me and almost giggled because this guy was that good looking. Mind you, she looked to be close to my age and not a teenager, so that reaction just amplified his Adonis-ness. Meanwhile, the young lady who was bagging my groceries was called away by her manager to go pick up her till so she could take over for M. M began finishing up where the young lady left off.

Personally, the exit of the young lady didn’t bother me. I try not to be in a hurry most days because usually it’s a waste of energy. Besides, it was a mere second before M began to bag my final items. No. Big. Deal.

Mind you, this was not an express lane, and Dr. Fine only had an armful of items. He watched the young lady walk away and immediately barked, “well, she must work by the hour! She’s so slow!” That’s when I tuned him out. He angrily picked up his five items and stomped off to an actual express lane.

M and I looked at each other and I said,“He was so cute until he opened his mouth.” M agreed with me. She asked me what I thought he meant about working “hourly”, and I told her that someone like that thinks that people who get paid by the hour are beneath him for any number of reasons. She shook her head and finished bagging my groceries. I told her to be glad she’s not him because she’d be wasting that beautiful shell on a dry, shallow well. She smiled and the young lady had returned with her till, all smiles and ready to go, and M could finally go home and get some rest. I hope she’s feeling better today.

I pushed my big cart through the lanes and as I was leaving, I saw Dr. Fine still waiting in line in the express lane, looking all sour and angry. He was no longer handsome. He was no longer desirable. He was no longer Dr. Fine.

People have bad days and are sometimes short or terse with others. I know that happens. I’m guilty of that myself. It’s what came out of his mouth, however, that was most offensive. That’s when he turned into the handsomest jerk I’d ever seen.

Dr. No Longer Fine saw me as I passed his lane and I hope my eyes communicated what I was thinking: What’s inside of a person really is more important than what’s on the outside… but he probably thought I was in awe of him. From afar, he may get away with being pretty and he probably gets stared at a lot, but I wonder how many women he’s turned off with what’s underneath that well-chisled exterior.

Then I went home and in between putting my groceries away and looking out the window to see what my Green Onion was up to with my car repair (actually he was hanging upside down looking under my dash, but that’s another story), I looked in the mirror and faced the ugliness that sometimes lurks inside of me. Part of my makeover has to be an examination of my interior to make sure what’s inside is more beautiful and lovely than what covers it.

I wonder if Dr. No Longer Fine will ever realize that instead of looking in a mirror, he was the mirror.

Posted in about shae, Bro Onions, femininity, Yahweh's fingerprints

THEY WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME: PART 2

Posted on by sassysheisme

My Green Onion is getting married. For him, this means that Schmitty actually said yes and they’ve successfully negotiated the terms of the college football season. For me, this means that less than six months from now, I will be in another wedding. Either I’ve not learned the lesson from just a few months ago that was going through via the other two Onion’s weddings, or the universe decided I looked so good in the Victorian Lilac that He decided I needed to try again in Pool or Pastel Blue or whatever the color choice actually becomes (But I look great in that color family, too).

The fact of the matter is, since I wrote about this subject in January, this journey has taken me places I never thought I’d go or admit to think about visiting. For example, I cleaned out my closet and rid myself of an unbelievable amount of shapeless t-shirts because I have come to terms with my curves. I wear heels now (to work at least) more than any other type shoe and I will go without food to have a pedicure at least once a month. My closet could compare with my Shoe Diva’s in her early phases of excessive foot covering addiction. I also gave myself a facial this afternoon and refreshed my pedicure. This is still me in 2010.

When my Sweet Onion and his bride said, “I do,” the feminine spell didn’t break. It has woven itself deeper into me than I thought possible. Even though I still wear the tshirt and the flip flops, I do like my bootcut jeans and heels almost to excess.

So we will see what happens over the next few months. I will try to do better about posting. I have many irons in the fire right now. I’m trying to start a photography business, reignite my creative writing, and somehow have enough down time to have enough energy for all this creative output.

Thank you for hanging in there with me. It’s going to be an interesting ride! (and I say that like it isn’t always like that…hmm…)

Posted in pricing, value

PHOTOGRAPHY CHARGES – WHAT YOU ARE REALLY PAYING FOR

Posted on by sassysheisme

I’ve been doing quite a bit of research on what to charge for my photography.  I finally have good perspective on why a photo session costs so much and why it needs to cost as much.  People don’t understand that the one hour of actual photo taking really breaks down to several hours of photo prep and photo making. 

This article on Caught on Film Photography explains it best.  Price is something to consider and perhaps you will reframe your verdict when you want photographs and memories of a higher quality than what Aunt Judy took with her 5 megapixel point and shoot with half your head cut off in the frame from an angle that makes your chin look like a bullfrog’s.

No offense to you or Aunt Judy – I know her pics were free.  It really boils down to what you want to capture and how much you are willing to pay to capture it. 

Posted in flowers, travels

TRAVELS – FLOWERS

Posted on by sassysheisme
Tiger Lilies – Cleveland, Ohio
Bridal Bouquet (after a long day)
Rose of Sharon – Huntington, Indiana
Black-Eyed Susans – Huntington, Indiana
Field of Flowers – Huntington, Indiana
Black-Eyed Susans – Huntington, Indiana
Rose of Sharon – Huntington, Indiana
Posted in Ocean

GALVESTON

Posted on by sassysheisme

I didn’t grow up anywhere near the ocean.  When I first moved to Houston, I was thrilled to go to Galveston and walk on the beach.  All I would hear from people was how “ugly” or “dirty” the beach was.  I beg to differ.

Some Sea Offerings
A little guy I hope will grow up to love the ocean as much as I do.
A Shell Lover’s Smorgasboard

Sandcastle built by “grownups”

Survivor of Ike
Posted in random

ADVENTURES AT DISCOUNT TIRE

Posted on by sassysheisme

So I noticed a big crack in my tire this morning and decided to get it taken care of sooner than later. I won’t mention the cost, but I feel as if at times I will never achieve financial victory in my life. Yes, I am faithful with my finances, which, by the way, had I not been, I could have bought a new car by now. With all my other recent money drains it is difficult to keep perspective.

So this morning I’m sitting here waiting for my new tires with a room full of fellow hard workers with tire issues. One in particular, Al (not his real name but we all sure know what it is by now) is hungover and passed out in a chair in the corner. They have called his name several times but he hasn’t moved. The lady next to me knows he’s alive because he snorted fifteen minutes ago. The Discount Tire clerk agreed Al needed to sleep off his weekend a little longer…that and because Al is so large if he touches him he might hurt him in his current condition.

Al woke up a couple of minutes ago, still fairly incoherent and in disbelief that anyone had called his name and he didn’t hear it. He went into the bathroom and screamed loudly, which is funny if you’d been watching him sleep the last half hour. He just drove off, and I hope he goes straight home and goes to sleep.

Meanwhile people are gawking at the wonder that is my HTC Evo (either that or I have spinach in my teeth). The only issue I have with it is battery life. The phone should at least stay charged all day and not have to be charged two or three times with minimal use…or not so minimal use.

Well my car is in the back now. Hopefully I will be on my way to work soon. It’s not nearly as much fun in here without Al.

Posted in creativity, random

PAUSE, THE BUTTON I CAN NEVER SEEM TO PUSH

Posted on by sassysheisme

I tend to go at life at an all or nothing pace.  Either I am running along, full steam ahead, or I am at a complete standstill, most likely because I had too much full steam ahead.  Balancing my busy schedule the past three months was so impossible, I stopped trying. Three weddings in six weeks, two of which I was very involved in, left little time for “nothing” time. 

I call it “nothing” time, but in reality, doing nothing actually means emptying my head of all its creative, insane thoughts, while doing laundry, cleaning, editing pics or whatever else needs done.  So really, I’m not all that good at doing “nothing,” and as a result I’ve written nothing in two months.

Don’t get me wrong.  The last few months, helping brides and grooms prepare for weddings has been a lot of fun (and a learning experience that maybe one day I will find time to write about) but free time was not usually a luxury I had.  In fact, on more than one occasion, I found myself faced with more than one bridal shower in a very short amount of time on a Saturday.  Juggling feelings and expectations isn’t something I do well normally, and under pressure sometimes my own expectations of how I handle all that is met with a big, fat, fail.  Double that with my lack of down time and yes, there are some things I wish I could do over.  I do believe, however, I came out on the other side of wedding season better than I was before.

I don’t download my brain easily.  There’s a certain combination that must happen before my thoughts come flowing out.  The first requirement of the combination is uninterrupted time.  The second is the desire to face whatever is being stored in my head.  The third is usually a combination in and of itself that can be vary between whether or not I’ve had enough sleep, to what I’ve eaten or what I’ve done that day, but the first two are a must.

I hope to start downloading all my thoughts soon, but I at least need to find a way to pause more often in my all or nothing schedule so that the gaps are not this long again!

Posted in random, technical difficulties

TECHNOLOGY IN TRANSITION

Posted on by sassysheisme
I remember visiting my parents’ home during a college break and asking my parents how long they were going to make me suffer with a rotary dial phone in the hallway.  Then, after moving to Texas, I swore I’d never call them unless they invested the $3 a month for call waiting because they were either always on the phone or the computer and every time I tried to call them I got a busy signal.
Fast forward to 2010, and I’ve reached another telecommunications growth spurt.

Recently, I changed car insurance companies.  On their bill, website and every other form of advertising and information, is an 800 number that includes the word CLAIM.  On their bill, website and every other place I looked, they did not have the alternative (the actual numbers) listed anywhere.

Because I was in the middle of entering the number in my contacts I decided to go to the internet and Google traditional phone pad to get the letters corresponding numbers to put in my phone in case I ever had to call in for a claim.

I have not had a traditional house phone for nearly three years now.  I have a traditional phone I can plug in the wall somewhere (and by somewhere I mean it’s probably in a box in my closet), but my cell phone’s keypad is a combination number/qwerty keyboard – so the letters would not match the numbers CLAIM represents. 
I can access a traditional keypad on the touch screen on my phone, but to be honest, I hardly use it.  I either use the readily accessible keypad or just choose a contact and push to dial.  Besides, to have to look up what number corresponds to a number is one of those tedious things I shouldn’t have to do if the company would just print the full number in addtion to their “easy to remember” CLAIM. 
I have been cell phone shopping recently and have seen many cell phones that do not have a traditional phone keypad readily accessible.  People speak, “Call John” and the phone obeys or they have speed dial, or they access and dial in many other ways. Even at work I hardly dial more than four or five numbers at a time and most of the time I use shortcuts the phone provides for me.  People rarely traditionally dial these days if they are out and about with their cell phone in hand, and almost no one uses a traditional keypad to text from these days, either.
Heaven forbid my phone gets smashed in the accident and I have to use some random cell phone that has a traditional keypad that’s more difficult to access or in a lot of cases, not even there.  In times of crisis, I might remember 800 CLAIM** but might not want to work that out in numbers in the middle of the chaos that would cause me to have to remember it in the first place.
I searched all over their website and couldn’t find CLAIM translated anywhere and this amused me somewhat, so I called the insurance company and had a nice chat with a lady named Anne.  I told Anne I was not calling for a claim but to ask (since their website had no way to contact except by phone) whom I should talk to about this.  She pulled out her own cell phone and started laughing because she, too, had a phone with a combo number/qwerty keyboard and said that if she had a traditional phone keypad on her phone, she’d never seen it.  Anne is my age and we both agreed that as traditional phones faded into the sunset, their website’s information should keep up with the times.
I wonder what stories I will tell kids when they complain about using a hand-me-down phone that is “so far behind the times.”  I will tell them, once upon a time, we even dialed seven numbers instead of ten and see how they marvel at that.  Or, perhaps, when I left the house, if my car broke down and I had to make a phone call, I had to knock on someone’s door or find (gasp) the soon to be extinct pay phone.
This experience brought to mind one of Bill Cosby’s routines where he said he asked his father for a nickel and he would get the old man’s life story, including, “when I was your age, I walked to school uphill, both ways.”  I find that story even moreso amusing now, because I find myself telling those same kind of stories!  With technology changing every few months, however, this doesn’t make me feel old, it makes me feel fortunate to appreciate what the new gives me in convenience… except when I need the numbers that correspond with CLAIM…