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Sassy Dreams Awake

I seek to live, breathe & work creatively. Late bloomer. Badassery Advocate.

Tag: COVID19

Posted in CANCER, commentary, Grief, holidays, Pandemic Social Distancing, Uncategorized

In Like a Lamb, Out Like a Lion

Posted on December 31, 2020 by sassysheisme

I can’t believe we are at the end of 2020. I started off the year by choosing “Roar” as my One Word 365 choice. Little did I know I would not be the one roaring my way through the year, but COVID 19 would instead.

Today is social distancing day 291. Trying to bring my thoughts together is difficult, simply because the circumstances of my life haven’t really changed from day to day. I had so many plans for my staycation, but mostly all I’ve done is survive. That, my friends, is a worthy goal achieved. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

Last night, I took a late call from a friend who lost her mother to a savage, quick-spreading cancer. We talked about all COVID had taken from us, robbed from us in broad daylight. Though she was able to have the final, precious moments with her mother, her confidante, her best friend, she was robbed of all the moments she could have had if she had been able to visit her in the hospital the last few weeks. My aunt could have had her family visit her and not leave her wondering if everyone was dead because they weren’t coming to see her. My aunt didn’t understand. My friend doesn’t understand. I don’t understand.

None of us understand.

COVID has robbed me of visits, precious time with my family. Some aren’t getting any younger, and some are getting older at a pace that if you blink, so much is missed. Kids are missing the camaraderie of choir, sports, clubs, and special dances. The adults are missing some semblance of preciously needed down time. Others are missing company. We are all missing something.

Yet there are still people out there who complain about masks or doing anything to prevent COVID for their neighbor. Even if it was only symbolic and not effective, as they claim, they still show their selfishness putting their supposed inconvenience against showing they care for their neighbors, their families, OUR families.

One of my childhood “Dads” passed from COVID recently. Two more adults from my childhood have died as well in the same time period, and while they may not have passed from COVID, COVID is robbing the families of proper funerals, robbing them from the normal first steps of the grief journey.

Compassion is free. Kindness costs nothing. Empathy means you are emotionally mature enough to realize it’s NOT ABOUT YOU because you’ve felt someone else’s pain and you can understand what someone’s going through. Our country is full of people who cannot muster any of those three emotional states or actions. That’s one of many frightening revelations COVID has shown me about America in 2020.

I am hopeful, that as vaccines are distributed (disturbingly slow) that COVID, the great thief, becomes COVID the great professor of how to human better. Many lessons yet to learn, many battles yet to fight, but we made it to this point in time. A time to look back (20/20) and a time to look forward.

I haven’t chosen a “One Word” for 2021. I don’t know if I will or not. After all, I chose the voice of a lion for a year that began hopeful and bright that turned into a roaring storm that has tossed me about while staying rooted in the same place for way too long. I need to think more carefully and reflect on lessons learned in 2020 that began like a lamb, and is ending as a rain-soaked roaring lion.

Posted in Pandemic Social Distancing

Pandemic Social Distancing, Day 214

Posted on October 17, 2020 by sassysheisme

I’ve been mocked by how seriously I take my COVID precautions. I’m not an alarmist. Anyone who tells you COVID not serious or that you don’t have to be careful, or it’s just like the flu, hasn’t experienced COVID personally or known anyone who has or they’ve just been super lucky.

It’s personal now. I hate that it’s personal now. COVID can affect the lungs and heart (and so many other things) long after a negative test. I’ve known this in my head. Now I know it for a fact. I hope none of you have to learn this the hard way either personally or because of someone you know and cared about.

No, I don’t have COVID. And I will continue to be super cautious so I don’t get it. Monday, my doctor cautioned me that the next wave is coming and implored me not to relax, to not let my guard down. Hunker down, get to the other side.

No matter the intention or diligence, the only person I can trust to take care of me and ensure that the right precautions are taken is me.

Today is day 214, and I’m not sure I can do a video today without weeping, screaming or begging. Maybe I’ll try later. I don’t know. I’m still upset. The mixture of emotions – knowing COVID ultimately ended the life of someone I knew, wondering how long we have to wait for the politics to be extracted from this virus and wondering how long until I can safely see people and hug people and just relax outside of my bubble – it’s all so overwhelming right now.

I’m grateful I am able to work from home and I have everything I need in my bubble. I plan on living a long life. I have too much to do and see and experience and I will never take any of that for granted again.

Please, please take COVID seriously. I don’t if care I’m mocked anymore. I know I’m doing what’s right for me and those around me. When I get to the other side of this season, I will have no regrets.

Posted in Pandemic Social Distancing, Work From Home

Pandemic Social Distancing, Day 16

Posted on March 31, 2020 by sassysheisme

I finally have a home computer, which makes it much easier to do updates to just about everything, because I’m wordy and I like to type.  As much as I love and have been grateful for my iPad the last couple of years, I’m so happy to have a computer again.

I’ve been away from the office, working from home, since March 14. More than two weeks! I’ve had staycations before, but nothing like this.  Nothing like this mind-numbing isolation. No good morning chats, no phone calls, no interactions of any sort.

The social distancing has been extended until April 30th. I’ll admit I cried when I saw that news. Being alone like this, even as introverted as I can be, is not optimal. Even if I go out for walks, I can’t interact with anyone really. Most people are scared to come close enough to talk to each other.  I have my groceries delivered.  I’m trying to see if I can get my prescriptions delivered as well.

I have to be careful. I’m one of those who could be classified as immunocompromised. It’s not something I talk about often. I had admitting any vulnerability but after a good talking to by text by my beloved cousin/doctor, I had to go into my boss and ask to work from home (about a week earlier than most ended up doing so themselves.  Of course, my company cares about its people, and they loaded me up with monitors and a full desk setup and off to my home office I went.

Working from home sounds like fun, and it is nice to work from home every now and then. To work from home for WEEKS ON END without any social activity in between, is not fun. It’s not.  I don’t hate it, but it’s difficult.  If I had social time after working at home all day, that might be a different story.

I started doing a video blog on my first day of working from home.  To be honest, I’ve been home a couple of days longer than that.  I decided to start posting them to Facebook and to my YouTube Channel as an outlet and as a way to let people know I’m ok. Or struggling. Or both.

I’m hopeful that, now that I have more tangible creative outlets, that I will endure better.  Until then, I am Pandemic Social Distancing, at least until April 30th. I’m hopeful that will be it, but as we inch closer to 200,000 people infected, I doubt it. Before it’s over, I’m sure we’ll all know someone who succumbed to COVID 19.

Until we’re out in the sun again together, less than 6 feet apart, let’s keep lifting each other up, even if it is from a distance.

Recent Posts

  • Judging Those in Poverty January 4, 2021
  • In Like a Lamb, Out Like a Lion December 31, 2020
  • Of Grief, December 9 December 8, 2020
  • Thanksgiving, or Pandemic Social Distancing, Day 256 November 26, 2020
  • Pandemic Social Distancing Day 238 November 8, 2020

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